Quarry of Ash
by snidely
Summary: A medicine cat. A rogue. Heartache in a time of turmoil. Peace that may not last. When guilt and loneliness bare their teeth, how can Doveheart heal the evil in the Clan while battling questions of loyalty and legacy that haunt the medicine cat code?
1. The Beginning

**Author's Note: This story uses a gender-neutral pronoun set consisting of "xe, xir, xirs, xem, xemself". The "x"s may be pronounced with a **_**z-**_**sound. Gendered pronouns will appear as well, but not in this chapter.  
**

**Special thanks to everyone who helped polish and refine this story, especially Rainstar of ShadowClan, kcb500, Glowingsoul, Dustwhisker The Cat, Epic Ranger, Sunmist, ShoutFinder, and Coqui's Song.**

**Reviews will be much appreciated, and constructive criticism is welcomed. It shouldn't have to be said, but hopefully those who are more hesitant will feel comfortable enough to be honest if they know that it's desired. Additionally, as always, it's nice to hear what the readers like.**

CHAPTER ONE

A stream of blood had already begun to seep from the stripes of ginger fur. The cat lay on xir side in the medicine cat's den, eyes clenched shut as more blood welled up from the claw marks and the hem of a tattered ear. Xe flinched as a gray paw touched xir pelt—the medicine cat applying a smattering of cobwebs to seal the wounds.

"Is Emberpaw going to be alright?"

The gray cat did not reply at once, and after a few heartbeats had passed, the speaker asked again, unhappy to be left waiting.

The hairs began to prickle on the back of the medicine cat's spine, but xe did not turn to look at the apprentice's parent, xir gaze committed to assessing the extent of the damage and avoiding the other cat's eyes. "Of course. They're play-scratches, nothing more. This is none of your affair, Daisyfur. Go outside and do your job."

The ginger-and-white deputy lingered a moment longer before turning to leave, not waiting to see Doveheart pick up a plant from xir mysterious store of herbs and means of healing. Xe placed the leaves before the muzzle of the ginger apprentice and then stepped back.

"What is it, Doveheart?" Emberpaw sniffed at the herb and began to open one eye, resulting in red-stained vision and a cry of pain.

The gray paw pushed the clump of greenery closer to the young cat's mouth. "Just eat it, you mouse-brain."

Outside, the Clan was in uproar, and the leader was nowhere to be seen.

"When did Adderpaw learn to be that violent with xir own littermate?"

"Xir mentor would surely have taught xem how to use xir claws. It's no wonder—"

"An apprentice does need to learn—"

"—but against a littermate?"

"—normal part of growing up—"

"They've both been listening to an awful lot of stories from Redfang and Ravenfur."

"What are we teaching our kits about their Clanmates?"

"You're not saying—"

"It was Lilyfang who gave xem the skills."

"An apprentice doesn't need to be _taught_ how to unsheathe xir claws."

"You're forgetting—"

"And to think, if Frostkit—"

All the chatter came to a standstill and all the yowling came to a hush as Daisyfur walked out into the middle of the throng and lay down, tucking xir paws underneath xir white chest. A few cats exchanged uneasy glances, and then a few of them took seats themselves. The deputy did not spare so much as a glance for Adderpaw, who was hiding in a tree.

"Lilyfang, you and Blacktail will take Adderpaw hunting," the deputy ordered, and silence followed, save for the scrabbling scratches of claws against bark as a small brown tabby worked xir way down from the highest branch. The white cat who was xir mentor had only given a sober nod in response, though underneath xe was seething with anger, and Adderpaw was cautious in approaching xem as they set out to leave.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Yewstorm's tabby fur fluffed up again. "My kits did nothing wrong! And Emberpaw is not so weak that xe cannot withstand the play fighting of a littermate!"

"Were you even there, Yewstorm?" Molenose asked.

"No, but had I been, I'd have put a stop to it!" xe exclaimed, a fierce glare burning in xir eyes, and the small black cat who had questioned xe shrank back with flattened ears.

"Of course Yewstorm wasn't there," Leechwhisker remarked. "Hear it from a cat who saw the whole thing. Adderpaw simply lost patience, as all cats do. Doveheart can fix it all up."

"But we shouldn't have to waste time and resources on healing cats who were attacked by their own Clanmates!" interjected a different tabby.

"For once, Brownstripe has a point," Spiderclaw muttered.

Daisyfur unfolded xir paws and stood, xir yellow tabby stripes darkened by the shade. "What remains to be determined is what inspired this behavior." When no cat spoke, xe continued, "The wounds are not serious, and Emberpaw is not in any danger, but we all agree that this is far more bloody a result than we would like to see of the fighting of sibling Clanmates. A punishment for Adderpaw will be announced after I speak with Yellowstar. Until then, there will be no more talk of this."

Not even Daisyfur could put a stopper on Clan gossip, but no cat would speak up to say as much. They understood the purpose of xem saying such things. The cluster of uneasy KnollClan cats watched as their deputy departed from the clearing, no doubt with the intention of seeking out their leader, and then the murmurs began anew, but now with a veil of subdued trepidation, as opposed to the confrontational yowls of a moment before. Soon the crowd of cats broke up and dispersed, returning to their duties and the company of their preferred friends. Yewstorm, for xir part, went to seek out Emberpaw in the medicine cat's den.

Emberpaw, still lying on xir side, let out a melodramatic mew as xe heard Yewstorm enter. The brown tabby replied with a sharp order to hush and to quit being such a kit, at which the apprentice quieted, and then, with a change of demeanor, the warrior crouched down to offer words of comfort. Most cats would take Daisyfur's word for it that the apprentice was not gravely hurt, and would leave it to Doveheart to tend to xir wounds, but Yewstorm was unique in that xe was a most protective parent, albeit an inconsistent one.

Doveheart, whose expression had softened, padded closer to the pair. "Xir treatment has stymied some of the bleeding. Time will take care of the rest."

Yewstorm looked up with troubled eyes. "Is xe free to leave?"

"As soon as xe likes."

Emberpaw, being of a delicate temperament, was still quite shaken by the whole affair, and still had yet to stand back up on xir own four paws. Xe also had yet to develop the maturity not to make a mountain of a molehill.

Doveheart lowered xir gaze to xem and asked, "Are you ready to get up now, Emberpaw?"

Xe shook xir head.

The gray tabby knelt down on the ground beside xem and nudged the apprentice's head with xir own. "Your pelt can repair itself, and the horsetail and raspberry leaves will help. All that remains is for you to be brave."

"No kit of mine isn't the bravest of them all," Yewstorm insisted. "Isn't that right, Emberpaw?" Xe licked the smaller tabby on the head and purred xir encouragement.

Reluctant though xe was, Emberpaw took their words to heart and slowly gathered xemself to xir paws, head and tail low to the ground.

"That's it, my dear." Yewstorm let xem lean against xir side, even though there was no need. "Come with me, and we'll go to see Redfang and Ravenfur."

At this, Doveheart lowered xir tail and broke from xir beaming expression to something more serious. "Oh, er, Yewstorm—"

"Thank you so much for your help, Doveheart. Emberpaw's looking better already. KnollClan is fortunate to have so skilled a healer, even better than those of BrookClan and MeadowClan together."

"And TunnelClan!" Emberpaw interjected.

"We do not speak of TunnelClan," xe snapped. "Well as I was saying, Doveheart, we're very grateful for your help."

"Er, yes, you're welcome, thank you, er, but maybe you shouldn't go to see Redfang and Ravenfur just now. Go and visit Brownstripe instead."

Yewstorm searched the medicine cat's eyes, and then xe came to the same understanding with a slight nod, looking away and swiping xir tongue over xir whiskers. "...Yes. You do have a point, Doveheart. We'll do that. Come on, Emberpaw! To the nursery!" Xe raised xir head, ears perked forward, and helped the yellow apprentice along, making further exclamations amid cheerful goading for the young cat to walk faster.

Doveheart could not help but chuckle at the sight of them as xe took a seat at the entrance to xir den. Brownstripe did not have any kits in the nursery, for Brownstripe was not even a cat-who-can-have-kits, but the dusky tabby who had been Yewstorm's littermate was well-known to frequent that part of camp, even in its emptiness.

Xe curled xir tail over xir paws and shifted xir gaze from the nursery to the fresh-kill pile, noting to xemself that it seemed smaller than it always had been before during this time of year. KnollClan needed kits—the other Clans had each announced new litters at the last gathering, while KnollClan lagged behind—but Doveheart had to wonder whether there would still be enough prey to go around, once there were more mouths to feed. It wasn't a problem that would be delayed until the kits were weaned off of milk, either, as a pregnant queen would be inclined to eat much more to help the young ones growing in her belly. They wouldn't be healthy otherwise. Therefore Doveheart knew that if any warriors began carrying kits now, there might not be time for the prey problem to resolve itself. It was not even certain whether the dearth was cyclical, for that matter. A few warriors had speculated that the dwindling life in the forest was not natural and that someone was stealing, but as of yet nothing could be proved. For all xe knew, this might just be another prank of Brownstripe's again, albeit a joke in very poor taste.

Only a few moments after Yewstorm and Emberpaw had left, Leechwhisker came forward and dipped xir head in respect before the medicine cat, a gracious show of good manners. Then xe looked up and asked, "Had any signs from StarClan lately?"

Doveheart burst into laughter.

"Alright, alright—" Leechwhisker tried to continue the conversation despite failing to stay deadpan, releasing a few chortles xemself at the silly idea. "Honestly now. How have you been?"

"You know how I've been, you old leaf-whacker. Come here." The two friends licked each other's shoulders and rubbed faces to share their scents, purring with merriment.

"You know, I've noticed something—"

"Yes? What is it this time?"

Leechwhisker circled around the medicine cat to enter the den before xe sat back on xir haunches. "Your old littermate, Molenose, seems to be keen on the young Blacktail."

Doveheart nodded. "I know."

"You know?"

"Xe's told me."

"Oh."

"And if you've noticed _xir_ antics, surely you've noticed that Spiderclaw fancies someone as well."

Leechwhisker frowned, uncertain. "What has Spiderclaw told you?"

"Nothing. Xe doesn't need to tell me." Doveheart nodded at something outside, and Leechwhisker turned to look.

A lean black cat was carrying a mouse toward the edge of camp. Xe stopped and dropped it in front of a small tabby named Wrenface, who was quite fetching. Though a hardworking warrior, this particular cat was not known to make unsolicited displays of generosity. As the two watched from the medicine cat den, xe settled xemself beside Wrenface and curled xir tail around xem.

"Oh, I see."

The medicine cat chuckled. "Yes... My hope is that they will bring many more kits to KnollClan. The nursery's been so quiet these days."

Leechwhisker mumbled in agreement. Then the cat turned to look at xir friend with a strange gaze. A mottled pattern of coal black and bright ginger fur surrounded xir pair of bold amber eyes, which had always been quick to shift their focus from one puzzle or discovery to the next. They narrowed now with a twinge of concern, intermingled with cautious scrutiny. "Doveheart, have you ever... regretted?"

"No." When the warrior continued to gaze at xem, as though this answer were not enough, xe added, "and I never will."

Only then did the warrior look away. "Well, in that case," xe began in a resigned tone, "when you go to the next medicine cat gathering, be sure to rub that in Acornstripe's face for me."

Raising xir whiskery eyebrows, Doveheart showed some surprise at that remark. There were, in fact, some rumors that xe hadn't heard.


	2. Redfang and Ravenfur

CHAPTER TWO

"All cats who are old enough to hunt for themselves," grumbled Yellowstar, lumbering into the clearing, "come and gather for a Clan meeting." Xir tail dragging, the pale tabby who served as leader was not inclined to raise xir voice these days, though it mattered little, for many of the KnollClan cats were already gathering at the sight of their leader returning from the woods, while Daisyfur trailed behind. Yewstorm, Emberpaw, and Brownstripe stepped from the nursery at their leader's call, joining the throng of cats who had formed a crowd around Yellowstar's paws. Adderpaw and the other two warriors were among their ranks. The apprentices sat down apart from each other, with Daisyfur and Yewstorm between them.

Yellowstar leaped onto a ledge for xir announcement, beginning by addressing the Clan by name. The old cat who spoke to them was gaunt and grizzled, with a quiet rasp of a voice that grated like the bark of an oak. KnollClan's leader was a cat who had seen death, not only that but who had tasted it, who had bitten down on its wretched bitterness and swallowed—though how many times remained unknown to most. Many times xe had seen the cats of StarClan, and xe did not care to speak of it. In fact, xe did not care to speak much of anything. Xir announcements were often blunt and quick. "The act of harming a Clanmate is deserving of a punishment. For one moon, Adderpaw will be prohibited from visiting with the elders."

Holding xir tongue, Adderpaw lowered xir head, disheartened.

"However," Yellowstar continued, "It would be unwise to suppose that responsibility lies only with one cat. We must all examine ourselves before we can find the root of the problem which has allowed this to happen. If there is any poison among us that would cause a warrior to turn against a Clanmate, it must be destroyed before it destroys us. In these times especially, KnollClan needs more loyal cats, not less."

Emberpaw, regaining xir characteristic excitement, stood up and interjected, "I know! We can invite that kittypet who lives by the border to come join the Clan!"

Yellowstar looked down on xem with a frown. "Don't be ridiculous."

Emberpaw shrank back and was silent.

"This meeting is adjourned." And so it was.

With Yellowstar's official judgment now delivered, the cats began to speculate again. Adderpaw's punishment had been decided, and no cat bore xem any more ill-will than that, but the Clan was still uncertain what they could have done to prevent this.

Brownstripe padded toward the ginger apprentice and lowered xir head for a conspiratory whisper while most of the cats were beginning to speak in normal tones. It was agreed that Yellowstar had the right idea in deciding Adderpaw couldn't go to the elders for a while. Xe had been listening to quite a few of their stories as of late—most of them such violent stories, too—was that where Adderpaw got the idea? All warriors must face the reality of battle, and there was no use in trying to shield them from learning. Besides, all of those stories were about attacking other Clans, not their own Clanmates.

"The war with MeadowClan was not long ago—"

"And many of us still bear scars from the battle with BrookClan—"

"And TunnelClan!"

"We do not speak of TunnelClan."

Emberpaw crouched down and made xemself small at the rebuke, this time coming from Blacktail.

As the discussion continued, it was agreed that Adderpaw's actions did not warrant a silencing of stories, but nothing further was decided on the matter.

KnollClan's medicine cat left the meeting with a heavy heart. They were small troubles now, but xe feared this was only the beginning of greater strife within the Clan. Not only that, but word had spread of a dangerous rogue trespassing through Clan territories. It had been last sighted on border between their land and that of BrookClan. All this came upon more recent misfortunes that still plagued Doveheart's mind. Not only that, not only that, not only that...

Some of xir herb supply was decaying and would soon be useless. Xe liked to replace them every few days to keep it fresh. Now would have been a good time to go collecting, but Doveheart was not in the right spirits to go out in the forest. Instead the medicine cat retired to xir den and curled up in a furry gray ball for a nap. A while later, Molenose noticed xem twitching in xir sleep, fitful with agitation, and the curious cat gave xir a prod on the cheek.

Doveheart woke with a start and looked up at xir old littermate with widened eyes before easing back on xir side. "Oh, it's only you."

"Yeah. What were you all twitchy about?"

"I was having a... a very strange dream..."

"About what?"

"About..." After a pause, Doveheart frowned in thought. "I wasn't a medicine cat."

"What were you?"

"Just a cat, I suppose."

"You mean a warrior?"

"Yes... No... It was just very strange."

"Maybe it was a message," xe teased, "from StarClan."

Doveheart was just as sarcastic in return. "Yes. Indeed. A sign that I was not meant to be a medicine cat." Xir tone changed as xe continued, "I know the dead possess wisdom that we do not, but I don't believe Acornstripe when xe says that xe has spoken with them. StarClan can't advise us any more than we can advise them. If there is a way of reaching them, it will not be through sleep. My dreams have only ever been the dreams of a normal cat," xe concluded, and xe realized then that xe didn't want to face the possible implications of that. "What did you wake me for, Molenose?"

"You were fidgeting like a squirrel. I wanted to see if you were alright."

"Of course I'm alright." Xe began washing a paw.

"Well, I was curious."

"You're always curious."

"Yep."

Doveheart took a swipe at xir smug face and pushed past xem, but Molenose was not one to be set aside.

"Are you going to this moon's gathering?" xe asked, following.

"Yes, of course. " Doveheart paused and looked at xem. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh, well—" Xir old littermate took a step back and squatted down. "Just, you know... just curious."

"Have you spoken to Redfang and Ravenfur yet?"

At this, Molenose eased back up and tilted xir head. "No. Why would I have—"

"Aren't you curious?"

The warrior remained silent.

It was evening now, and the outline of camp was faint in the evening light, the leafy shadows of the overbearing trees nigh indistinguishable from the uncovered areas of dimly-lit earth. Xe could see Emberpaw on the other side of the clearing, enjoying xir unrevoked privilege and speaking with the elders, though if Doveheart knew anything about Emberpaw, xe would likely be sharing all the details of the visit with Adderpaw later on.

Despite all the talk that had transpired in the middle of camp, no cat had yet approached Redfang and Ravenfur since the incident. None but Emberpaw. For what was there ever to say to them, but 'tell us another story'? There was no changing the elders, or so the wisdom went. Doveheart was hesitant, anticipating futility, but given their influence and how much time they spent with the two young littermates, xe decided xe would pay a visit to Redfang and Ravenfur as well.

The medicine cat found xemself receiving a warm welcome at the elder's stump. Emberpaw bowed xir head and thanked xem again for the herbs, while the two elders bowed their heads deep in respect, each with a twitch of their whiskers and a gleam in their eyes. The old ginger tabby was lying on xir side, a retired black warrior curled up beside xem. Both were battered with old scars, their ribs rippling their pelts, though their fur was clean.

Doveheart gave them a cordial greeting, bowing xir head in return to xir elders, and asked them what they had been telling the little apprentice about this evening.

"A battle," said Ravenfur, "in the fight for the rocky slopes." Xir voice was like the rattle of dry leaves in the wind, xir yellow eyes staring out from a face seeming featureless in it its perpetual shadow.

"But you wouldn't know much about battles, then, would you, medicine cat?" rasped Redfang, stretching one of xir stiff joints.

Undaunted, Doveheart ignored the hint of malice in such a question and responded brightly, "No, thank goodness, in my lifetime a battle has never taken place in KnollClan camp."

The elder grunted and flicked xir tail.

"May I hear the rest of the story now, Ravenfur?" chirped Emberpaw, the base of xir tail quivering with excitement.

Ravenfur shifted xir weight and pushed xemself to xir paws, eyes set on Doveheart. "Well, we wouldn't want to upset our dear medicine cat."

"I've seen plenty of blood in my time—"

"That's right, you know the healers don't like hearing about how much work we give them," Redfang chuckled, kneading the earth with xir claws.

Ravenfur agreed, saying, "Doveheart would surely disapprove."

"Well—"

"That's it then. Off you go, Emberpaw. No more nasty stories for you." The black elder waved a paw to shoo xem off, and the apprentice lowered xir tail as xe turned to go, crushed with disappointment.

"Now what was that for?" Doveheart exclaimed.

"You mean you didn't come over here to tell us what a bad influence we are?" Redfang was feigning earnestness.

"Why, Doveheart, we didn't know you supported us elders and our boring old exploits. We're glad you think so highly of us."

"It's an honor to have the medicine cat's blessing."

"Well I didn't say—"

"Why don't you call Emberpaw back over, let xem listen a little more?"

At this point, the gray medicine cat had fluffed up xir fur and was glaring at the both of them. But xe did not call Emberpaw back over.

Instead xe swung around and trotted after the ginger apprentice, telling xem to wait.

Though unhappy, Emberpaw was still obedient to xir superiors, coming to an abrupt halt and giving the medicine cat xir attention.

"What were they telling you? What did they say about the battle?"

"Isn't it Molenose who's usually the nosy one?"

"Emberpaw!" Doveheart looked shocked.

Xe shrank back and flattened xir ears; xe knew that had been out of line. "I'm sorry, Doveheart."

Seeing such immediate remorse, the medicine cat didn't take but a moment to respond. "Get up. You are forgiven."

Emberpaw gradually rose up and gave a real answer. "Redfang and Ravenfur were telling me about how they'd driven MeadowClan off our lands. That was back before they had retired from their duties, and were still young enough to fight."

Doveheart searched xir eyes but said nothing, and the apprentice grew bolder.

"I want to be a great warrior like them some day. I'll claim new territory for KnollClan and destroy all the others! BrookClan, and MeadowClan, and Tunnel—"

"We do not speak of TunnelClan." How had Emberpaw learned of such things, anyway?

"Yes, Doveheart."

"You're excited to go into battle, then?"

Emberpaw raised xir tail once more, xir eyes bright. The cuts on xir face were slowly healing. "Isn't every apprentice?" xe replied.

"I was an apprentice, once."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess not everyone gets to fight. But those that do can fight extra hard to make up for you— I mean, you and the ones who don't." The tabby looked back over xir shoulder at Redfang and Ravenfur. "They must be sad to have left that life behind."

Doveheart followed xir gaze. Redfang and Ravenfur were gazing at each other, twitching their whiskers and purring with glee. "Yes, I'm sure they're full of nostalgia," xe mused, though xir subtle sarcasm was lost on the naïve little tabby. Dismissing Emberpaw to do as xe wished, the medicine cat turned and headed for xir den just as Spiderclaw came racing into camp, heading straight for Yellowstar. Not paying much attention to what xir old littermate was up to, Doveheart wanted to check up on an old infection of Brownstripe's, and then xe would need to replenish xir herb supply. Xe tried not to think much about what hassles would be solved by having an apprentice. That wasn't going to be a possibility again for a long time, and xe needed to get used to that.

* * *

"Yellowstar. Urgent news."

"It's the rogue, isn't it?" The leader sounded tired, with a dry assuredness as though xe had predicted this would come to pass, as though the outcome were too certain to dread—and yet the news still came as a blow. "It's moved onto our territory now," xe guessed. It wasn't a question; xe already knew.

"There are traces of an unaffiliated feline scent on our side of the border, " Spiderclaw continued. "Very close to camp. From what I could tell it's also had a recent brush with MeadowClan patrols. They didn't leave it with any parting gifts that would have weakened it though. It's completely healthy, of a mature age, and it was well-fed when it came through. The scent couldn't be any older than from sunhigh this morning."

"Can you track it?"

"No. I scoped it out but there's not a strong enough trail for me to follow."

"Then get Leechwhisker and Molenose to do the tracking. There's a thief on our territory and you're going to find it."


	3. The Sighting

CHAPTER THREE

"Uncertainty is something to look forward to, but a guarantee is never good news."

"Well that's a bit pessimistic of you, Brownstripe, don't you think?"

"The mouse is neither half-eaten, nor half-remaining. The mouse is the mouse."

"Ah, I see," xe played along. "But can you tell me how you're feeling?"

"Physical sensation is but an illusion."

"Well, let's see if we can make your illusions a bit nicer. Would you like any more chervil?"

"Yes, please."

With a chuckle and a sigh, Doveheart rubbed against the tabby warrior on xir way to xir den and collected the herb for xem as desired. It was about time to get going and gather more celandine and catchweed. After rubbing cheeks with Leechwhisker, the medicine cat headed out, but not before casting a glance back at camp. Yellowstar and Daisyfur were commandeering the medicine cat den for one of their tense discussions, Lilyfang was supervising Adderpaw's playfight with Emberpaw, and there, at their stump, watching xem, were Redfang and Ravenfur. Old fools. Xe remembered treating some of their wounds as an apprentice. Doveheart shook xir head with a sigh of a different sort this time and set xir ears forward as xe set paw into the thicker part of the forest.

The sun was setting behind xem as xe picked xir way along time-worn paths, the same that xir mentor had taken, toward familiar growing grounds for the plants xe sought. Darkness swallowed up the woods and sapped the colors from the underbrush, the soft glow of the moon supplying the feline's sharp eyes with just enough to see by. Looking up, Doveheart could see that the white shape in the sky was waxing to half-full. In another night, it would be time for the medicine cats' gathering.

Xe shivered from chill and carried on. The smells of the forest, damp and musky, acrid and green, led xem along xir way. There was a catchweed patch not far from here, xe was sure. But among the smells of plants and earth, the medicine cat detected another scent, the one that Spiderclaw had found not much before. Xir fur bristled along xir spine. When had the last patrol come through here? They should have chased this rogue out by now.

Sniffing the traces of the stench that remained, Doveheart had only just enough time to wonder where the thief had gone when xe heard a soft thud nearby. Startled, xe looked up and took fright when xe saw a cat xe didn't recognize. An outsider. A stranger. A fiery orange tabby, wiry and rough, staring straight at xem with friendless olive eyes. It was standing on the fallen log with a hunk of prey in its jaws, about a good dozen cat-lengths away, but the sight of it was still enough to remind the quaking medicine cat of xir meager size and unpracticed muscles and how xe had never completed much of xir warrior training. The cat who was leering at xir was larger than xe was and likely stronger too. Xir heart was thudding in xir chest, xir paws weakening underneath xem. Standing xir ground, Doveheart stared back and hissed.

It blinked its eyes, declining the challenge, leaped down from the log, and slunk away. Not a moment later, a patrol came through the bushes, led by Yewstorm, with Wrenface and Blacktail in company. Doveheart spun around to face them.

"What's the matter?" Blacktail asked quickly.

"That rogue's been through here," Yewstorm was muttering, sniffing the air.

"It was just there, at the log. It saw me. It had a mouse in its jaws."

"Son of a badger!" Yewstorm's head whipped around toward the place where it had last stood. "That filth will pay for it!" With a furious yowl, the tabby took off with the speed of a rabbit, crashing through ferns and bushes, and Wrenface followed at a placid walk.

Blacktail was hesitating, the tip of xir long tail flicking at the end. "Leechwhisker could probably track it better than any of us."

"That's never been enough to stop Yewstorm."

Xe looked Doveheart over with an expression of concern. "Do you want an escort back to camp?"

"No, no of course not — thank you. It just caught me by surprise," xe insisted, flattening xir fur. Xe could still feel the hot grip of fear pulsing through xir veins.

Blacktail dipped xir head, both as a nod of acceptance and a show of respect for xir medicine cat. "As you wish, Doveheart."

The gray tabby lingered behind, giving xemself a wash to calm xemself, as the black warrior started after the other members of the patrol. Most cats had a way of gliding over the earth, silent as the breeze, making tracks without drawing attention to themselves. Blacktail was even more graceful than that. Sure-footed and sure-minded, the warrior's shoulder blades undulated up and down as xe walked, a pleasing sight of shifting angles, xir tail sweeping behind xem. It was easy to see why Molenose would be interested. Doveheart watched for a time before the cat disappeared out of sight and the medicine cat decided to get going on xir own way. Each of those three warriors would have been more than a match for whatever foolish trespasser had come their way—Blacktail with xir agility, Yewstorm with xir ferocity, or Wrenface with xir unpredictability—but xe remained uncertain what would have happened if the rogue hadn't left when it did, no doubt as a result of hearing the patrol. The fact that it was even here was enough to make xem feel unsafe on xir own lands. Gathering the courage to head on through the dark, Doveheart collected up xir herbs and made xir way back to camp, but not without looking back over xir shoulder all the way.

* * *

"So I hear you saw the rogue!"

This time Doveheart literally pushed xir old littermate away with a paw on the black cat's nose.

Fortunately, Molenose was always good-natured about these things, and xe responded by backing up and twitching xir whiskers with a bashful chuckle.

Though not annoyed, the medicine cat was bemused. "How would you know? I haven't even said anything about it to anyone." Xe had just returned to camp and had hardly spoken a word at all, having headed straight to xir den to deposit and sort the herbs.

The warrior seemed unsure how to handle the question. Xe shuffled xir paws and looked away, trying to mumble something sufficient to push the question aside. "Well... word travels fast. You know."

Doveheart set aside the herbs xe'd been dealing with, their taste lingering in xir mouth, and stuck xir gray head out of the den's entrance so as to scan the camp, looking for Blacktail or either of the brown tabby siblings. From what xe could see, none of the warriors from the patrol had returned yet. Then, like a fool, xe remembered Molenose's commemorated sense of smell, and xe swung xir gaze back to xem with an indignant glare.

The warrior gave a sheepish smile and stepped back.

Doveheart looked away slowly, feeling embarrassed and a little irritated at xir invasiveness, deception, and assumptions. Thorns and thistles and fox-dung… The grimy little sorry half of a mousetail— That cat was just as bad as xe had been as a kit. Why did xe have to make things up and take guesses at the source of anxiety rather than just asking xem what was wrong, like any normal and well-mannered cat would do?

And then, without even meaning to, by xir reaction xe had proved xir guess correct. Doveheart's pelt was bristling with resentment.

That was far from enough to put a damper on Molenose's need to satisfy xir curiosity. Only somewhat daunted by the glare, xe leaned back, ears flattened for a moment, but nonetheless, xe pressed for clarification. "Well, but you did see the rogue, right?"

Why didn't xe just shut up?

"Where was it? Did it try to attack you?" Xe still hadn't gotten a direct answer or any elaboration.

Reluctant to think about it more, Doveheart was hardly willing to give any details, the subtle indication of which being one of the few hints that Molenose failed to pick up on. For the gray tabby, as a medicine cat, the sight of a foreign cat on their land was a threat to xir sense of personal security. Xe wasn't a very strong cat, nor one skilled at fighting, but the Clan was supposed to take care of that for xem, and xe should have felt at ease and protected within the borders of KnollClan's lands. For as long as xe could remember, xe always had. Seeing the rogue wasn't just a reminder of the thievery taking place that was threatening the food supply for everyone; it was unsettling, on a level that was altogether personal. Evidently Molenose could smell the fear on xem and read it like the stars.

However much the medicine cat wished the exchanged had never happened, the conversation had not gone unheard.

"You saw the rogue?" Emberpaw exclaimed, scampering over from across the camp. "Wow! I bet that was exciting!"

Xir littermate wasn't far behind. "Did you fight it?" Adderpaw asked, xir tail quivering with excitement.

"I bet with those extra toes of yours you could claw it real good!" Emberpaw mimed the action, face scrunched up in a mock snarl.

The brown apprentice beside xem looked ecstatic, xir eyes bright, showing Yewstorm's intensity and enthusiasm as xe declared, "If it were me, I'd scratch it up so bad, by the end it'd be begging for its life!"

"That's no way for a warrior to act," Doveheart scolded, unnerved by their zeal.

Emberpaw stopped swiping the air, setting down xir paw, and looked up at the older cat with a surprised expression, whiskery eyebrows raised high above young yellow eyes. "But... aren't we supposed to defend our territory?"

"Life is sacred, young apprentice. Rogues can be chased off our land without it coming to blows. A true warrior does not kill unless there is no choice."

"Aw, what would xe know?" Adderpaw scoffed, swishing xir tail and giving a dismissive flick of xir paw. "Xe's just a medicine cat."

At this, Molenose hissed and stepped toward xem. "Not another word out of you! You had better listen to your medicine cat, or you're going to make a terrible warrior. There's nothing honorable about murder, and you waste valuable time and energy by expending violence where it's unnecessary, to the benefit of no one. Warriors need wisdom as well as strength in order to be any real asset to the Clan. It's become clear this is a lesson you have learned insufficiently. I'm going to have to talk to your mentor. Both of your mentors."

The two apprentices were cowering.

As Molenose glared at them with a heated gaze, Doveheart spoke in a quiet voice and sternly told them to return to their chores. They scurried off together at once, with one of them muttering to the other that none of the other Clans had a medicine cat this mean (not even TunnelClan, but Adderpaw pointed out that they weren't supposed to speak of TunnelClan). They had been apprenticed not long ago and were still kits at heart.

After they had gone off, Doveheart turned and began licking Molenose on xir shoulder. They were quiet for a time.

"I'm worried about them," xe murmured at last.

"I know."


	4. Poison

**Author's Note: Much thanks to all who have reviewed. The feedback is what makes publishing this worthwhile. Even if you happen to be arriving late in the game now, long after this has been published, reviews are always appreciated.**

CHAPTER FOUR

After Daisyfur sent Molenose out with a hunting party, Doveheart left xir den to seek out Leechwhisker and speak with xem, though xe wasn't sure whether xe wanted to talk about what xe'd seen in the forest. It wouldn't hurt to talk to xem about Emberpaw instead. Since Lilyfang was on the hunting party, Molenose would probably talk to xem about Adderpaw then anyway, relaying the story of what disrespect the apprentice had shown their medicine cat. Though Emberpaw was less at fault, it still warranted a discussion. Molenose had threatened to talk to Leechwhisker as well as Lilyfang—and maybe xe would, but xe didn't have to be the first.

Doveheart met with the tortoiseshell warrior near the fresh-kill pile, and they each picked a meal to take to the edge of camp.

"What's on your mind?" Leechwhisker asked, after crouching down to release a dead bird from xir jaws.

Leechwhisker always seemed to know when xe had something to tell xem. Doveheart set down xir mouse and wrapped xir tail around xir body, answering, simply, "The rogue on our territory."

"Oh." Xe began to bite into the meat of xir meal. "Yeah, I heard Spiderclaw smelled it around the fallen log somewhere."

As xe continued to speak, Doveheart started nibbling on the mouse, not feeling much of an appetite.

"Last seen in BrookClan, first seen in MeadowClan... Seems like it's been making the rounds, and we're just the next on the list. " Xe sighed. "I had hoped it would stay away from us. We'll chase it off eventually, but in the meantime it's going to be a drain on our prey populations. We need that food to be going to a kitting queen, not some self-centered miscreant."

"If we can get any kitting queens," Doveheart muttered. Of the warriors in KnollClan who were capable, none had kitted since Emberpaw and Adderpaw were born, and many of the cats-who-can-have-kits hadn't even had their first litters yet. New mothers were often unlucky, and first litters were well-known to be the least likely to survive.

"I think we have some warriors working on that," Leechwisker remarked in a sly tone. "Give it time."

As Yewstorm's patrol returned from the forest, clearly heading toward Daisyfur, Doveheart stopped eating and watched the warriors come in. The concerns with Emberpaw were far from xir mind.

"Uh oh. Look at those eyes. You're zoning out, Doveheart. Are you receiving a vision from StarClan?"

This time Doveheart was not amused, turning xir head to look at the tortoiseshell with a look of melancholy that smothered the spirit of the joke. Xe was too forlorn to laugh.

Leechwhisker leaned forward, tilting xir head. "Got yourself by the tongue?"

"No, it's just... I do sometimes wonder, whether it would be better not to be a medicine cat."

"Doveheart, KnollClan couldn't ask for a better—"

"No, I— I know, it's just... it gets lonely."

Leechwhisker narrowed xir eyes with a hesitant eyebrow-raise. After their last conversation on the matter, it was obvious what xe was thinking.

"I don't want a mate," xe insisted. "But you warriors, you have lots like yourselves, around you all the time."

"So?"

Doveheart lowered xir eyes.

The warrior waited.

After a pause, gazing down at the earth, the medicine cat stuttered, "I-if Frostkit h-had—"

Like falling into a river, that fragment of a mew plunged Leechwhisker into a cold berth of understanding. "Oh Doveheart, I'm so sorry—"

"It's Yewstorm and Daisyfur you should feel sorry for."

"No, I really am sorry," xe whispered. Leechwhisker rubbed xir head against that of the medicine cat. "I know what xe meant to you."

They enjoyed the quiet of each other's breathing, and eventually Doveheart began to purr with gladness for xir friend's comfort. Together, they curled up and went to sleep.

* * *

After waking and stretching xir legs, Doveheart left to return to xir duties in xir den and spent the rest of the night and some of the dawn preparing for the gathering that would come soon. Spiderclaw came by after sunrise to inform xem that xe and Wrenface were planning to have kits and to ask the medicine cat if xe had anything to increase fertility, but Doveheart could only shake xir head and promise to ask the other medicine cats tonight if they knew anything that could be done. Spiderclaw didn't seem too disheartened by this reply. Xe had simply thought it wise to check.

Doveheart gave a brief nod of understanding. "Well, I wish you luck."

"You too," Spiderclaw replied without thinking. It was only after the words were out of xir mouth that xe realized what xe'd said.

Doveheart cleared xir throat and curled xir tail over xir paws. It had been an opinion expressed by the deputy not long ago that it was a waste of Clan resources for a cat-who-can-have-kits to take up the mantle of a medicine cat. For cats-who-can't-have-kits, the ability to contribute to the Clan is limited, but cats-who-can-have-kits are blessed with the ability to bring new life to the Clan, no matter whom they mate with, and each new litter is something to be treasured. That had been the line of thinking behind Daisyfur's remark. Yellowstar had set the deputy straight, of course, and nearly clawed both xir ears off, but the bile in Doveheart's throat still remained each time xir thoughts revisited the memory of another cat's scorn.

Spiderclaw flattened xir ears and made xemself small, saying, "I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't."

"Honestly, Doveheart, I—"

"You meant to say," xe interrupted, "that you wish me good luck with finding something out from the other medicine cats, of course. Thank you. You are a kind cat, Spiderclaw. I'm proud we come from the same litter." Doveheart purred and rubbed the warrior with the length of xir body, encouraging xem to stand and rub in return. Xe didn't let xem linger, though. Wrenface was pacing at the edge of camp, and xe could see Brownstripe headed this way. When the medicine cat dismissed the warrior from xir presence, the black cat trotted off with xir tail in the air.

Then Brownstripe sat down at the den's entrance. It took an inconvenient string of riddles, some of which Doveheart had a little trouble with, before xe finally revealed that Yellowstar had requested to see xem in xir den.

"Well why couldn't you have just said that, you oaf?"

Brownstripe laughed. "What am I supposed to do, just walk up and say, 'Hey, healer, the leader wants you'?"

"Yes. Yes, that is exactly what is needed."

"That would be boring!"

"Sometimes 'boring' is what's better!" Doveheart called over xir shoulder, while already heading off to meet with Yellowstar. The leader's den was near the nursery, across camp, and the medicine cat didn't hesitate before plunging into the shallow tunnel, smelling the pale tabby close inside.

The leader of KnollClan was sprawled out on xir side, relaxed and half-asleep. Xe did not move when Doveheart came in, except to cough a few times with an elderly wheeze.

"A bit of coltsfoot would—"

"I didn't ask you here to talk about my cough, Doveheart."

Xe fell silent.

"Yewstorm's patrol returned without any encounter with the rogue. You're the only one that saw it. Explain what you saw."

The medicine cat began kneading the earth as xe gave a detailed report, trying to fight the impression that xir leader wasn't listening. "I… I was looking for catchweed when I saw a ginger tabby, looking at me, standing on the fallen log. I didn't recognize it and it didn't smell like the cats of any Clan. It had a mouse, probably stolen, that it was carrying with it. It was kind of far away, but it looked big and powerful… like it could easily overpower me, " xe forced xemself to admit, shuffling xir paws from nervousness. "It heard the patrol coming and it sneaked off before they arrived." Xe didn't mention the emotion in its eyes, or the way it had done nothing but blink in response to xir hiss before it slunk away.

Yellowstar's reaction to the news was little more than a grunt and a skeptical gaze, the one xe always seemed to wear. After the medicine cat was dismissed, xe left the den and spent some time with Leechwhisker discussing xir progress with xir apprentice. Doveheart was under the impression that xe would have the rest of the day to get in more sleep before the gathering.

Xe woke up in darkness to the sound of yowling.

Unsure what was happening, xe lifted xir head with a groggy grumble and noticed that Brownstripe was nudging xem. Xe gradually began to stand. Emberpaw was panting as though xe'd just run into camp, shouting for help, and Adderpaw was stumbling into camp behind xem in a state of tremors, gagging as though xe were about to retch. Doveheart pulled xemself together and hurried toward them, demanding answers.

Emberpaw fumbled through xir explanation as quickly as xe could while xir gaze kept darting toward the dusky apprentice who could no longer stand. Xe had never looked so scared. According to Emberpaw, Adderpaw had eaten something, part of a plant, one that grew down by the brook in the wet soil and had clusters of little white flowers. Hearing this, Doveheart's expression changed from one of worry to cold certainty. Xe dashed back to xir den and was chewing the yarrow as xe returned.

"Here. Swallow this."

Adderpaw had lay down on xir side, flecks of foam beginning to appear around xir mouth.

"Adderpaw, swallow it."

Emberpaw tried to crowd in close. "Is xe going to be—"

"Shut up." Doveheart pushed the mushy mixture closer with xir paw, and when Adderpaw proved unable to take it into xir teeth, the medicine cat delicately pried open the jaws of the young cat with xir claws, too determined to give up, and forced the herb into xir mouth xemself. Shaking, Adderpaw swallowed it bits at a time, xir nose unhealthily dry and xir eyes clenched shut. Xe began to moan from nausea.

Then the medicine cat whirled on xir littermate. "Why was Adderpaw eating water hemlock?"

"I dared xem to—"

"You _dared_ xem to?" Doveheart could do nothing but stare. Xe'd never known any apprentices so determined to kill each other.

A crowd of warriors had begun to form without xir notice, all watching the apprentices and too tense to breathe a word.

"What's going to happen?" Emberpaw whimpered.

"Water hemlock has deadly poison. Xe won't survive if it stays inside xem. The herb I gave xem should make xem spit it up, but it would have been better if xe'd never eaten it at all. What put such ideas in your head? Where's your mentor?"

"Xe's out on a patrol—"

Just then Adderpaw sat up and started heaving, xir body pulsing forward and rocking back. Xir mouth opened, lowered to the ground, and a green bile-ridden sludge poured out onto the earth and filled the surrounding air with its stench. Doveheart scratched at the ground to cover the puddle with dirt.

The dusky apprentice still looked shaky and frail, and the medicine cat offered xem a chance to stay a while in xir den, but even while recovering from the effects of water hemlock, Adderpaw was adamant.

"You don't have to baby me." Xir voice was uneven and faint.

Doveheart shouldn't have been surprised at the resistance, but xe was. "Adderpaw, you could have died."

The implication xe'd dispensed, however, was that now xe would live, and that was enough to convince Adderpaw that xe didn't need the medicine cat anymore.

The apprentice didn't talk back, scuffing xir paws and twitching xir tail, still disdainful of the offer. Seeing that xe wasn't going to accept any more care, no matter how bad xe felt in the aftermath, Doveheart turned xir back on the apprentice and left for xir den, leaving a trail of whispers in xir wake. Silence did not return until Daisyfur did. It was the deputy's job to take care of these matters, not Doveheart's. Xe relished not holding that rank, not bearing that responsibility, not being obligated to sort out these situations and help decide what was to be done, but a part of xem was queasy with uncertainty. Adderpaw's life was safe, but xe couldn't help but wonder where Emberpaw had gotten the idea to make that dare. The answer that came to mind was a thought xe did not want to consider.

The medicine cat did not get a chance to speak with anyone else before having to depart for the gathering. Xe would have liked to see Leechwhisker for a bit, but the warrior was busy, no doubt, hissing at Emberpaw, conferring with Yellowstar, and puzzling out how things had come to this. It must be hard for the mentor, feeling responsible for the outcome of the apprentice. It would have been nice to comfort xem and in as much find comfort for xemself, but there was no time for that now. As the moon rose higher, the medicine cat set out into the forest to meet the healers of the other Clans, picking xir way through the underbrush with heavy matters on xir mind and a churning feeling in xir belly, anxious what the future would hold.


	5. The Medicine Cat Gathering

CHAPTER FIVE

The forest was alive with fireflies and the scuffling of small creatures, and once again, the light from the partial moon was enough for the small cat to see by. Every half-moon, a little trespassing was permitted on account of the medicine cat gathering, and so Doveheart was not afraid of encountering another Clan's patrol, but xe remained alert nonetheless—checking the air for the smell of rogue. Another patrol had reported discovering more evidence of the thief not far from here. Maybe xe should have taken up Blacktail's offer and asked for a warrior escort... but then, how silly would that have looked, to arrive at the medicine cat gathering with a warrior in tow? Even if Doveheart could convince xir peers that it was not owing to any distrust for them, they would assume that KnollClan must be weak and damaged, or at the very least, cowardly, to be resorting to such measures. And so the gray tabby carried on alone.

Though xir nerves were thin, the journey passed without incident, and eventually xe pushed through the rushes to the old twoleg path and the abandoned well, formed from a circle of mossy stones and a structure for turning a crank. The cats had little use for the contraption, but the arrangement of the stones was a useful landmark for a meeting place, not prone to as much change and decay as was the way for most of the woods. Doveheart dropped xir contribution of herbs at the base and leapt up to the well's ledge, which was just wide enough for a cat to walk along. The tabby sat on xir haunches, draping the gray tip of xir tail over xir white paws, and craned xir neck to peer into the dark depths below, too far for even the moon to reach.

The medicine cat of BrookClan was the next to arrive, along with xir apprentice, a shy calico known as Spottedpaw.

Doveheart dipped xir head in greeting. "It is a pleasure to see you again, Fogstone."

The gray cat dropped xir offering of horsetail and feverfew to bow xir head in return and reply, "How do you do?"

Spottedpaw was also carrying herbs, which xe dropped beside xir mentor, and xe didn't allow xemself to meet anyone's gaze. "Hello, Doveheart," xe mumbled. The tip of xir tail twitched low to the ground.

The medicine cat of KnollClan thought it curious that the apprentice seemed so out of sorts tonight. The apprentice had not been to many meetings before, and consequently Doveheart did not know xem well, but previously Spottedpaw had always shown more warmth and energy—and come to think of it, xe had looked a bit slimmer, too. It was too early to be putting on weight for leaf-bare, wasn't it? Xe was looking so pudgy around the flanks now that, if Doveheart hadn't known better, xe would think that xe was carrying kits. It must have been a time of plenty for their Clan—which was strange, because if BrookClan was reveling in an abundance of prey, xe wouldn't expect its members to look so put out about it.

"How is the prey running?"

"Well enough for us. You've heard, by now, of the rogue making the rounds?"

"He was just one cat. There wasn't that much stolen, and he didn't hurt anyone," Spottedpaw pointed out, which Doveheart took as a defense of BrookClan's strength.

"It has set paw on KnollClan territory now," Doveheart informed them. "The brute probably won't fare well if it's not gone soon. Our patrols have little patience for intruders."

This was the only thing thus far that had really caught Spottedpaw's attention. Xe looked up and glanced about with widened green eyes, as though frightened a KnollClan patrol might burst from the trees and have xir hide there and then. This meeting took place under the sacred truce of the medicine cats; xe had no need to look so worried.

Meanwhile, Fogstone cast a disinterested look around. "Do you know what's keeping Acornstripe?"

At that moment they heard another rustling and patter of clumsy pawsteps—the medicine cat of MeadowClan, late, as usual, though not _as_ late as usual. Xe dropped a mouthful of burnet leaves and jumped up onto the well. "Hello, Doveheart!" xe chimed. "Hello, Fogstone! Hello... Specklepaw?"

"It's Spottedpaw. I've come to the well four times now. I'm not that new."

"Oh! Right. Sorry. Spottedpaw." Despite the embarrassment, xir tail was still high.

"How has your Clan been in the past moon, Acornstripe?" Doveheart didn't care for the cat personally, but xe tried to maintain a friendly and professional relationship with the other medicine cats—Acornstripe included.

"Oh, none the worse for the rogue that came through, and I've successfully stopped the recent cough from spreading, proud to say."

As xe was speaking, Fogstone stepped forward to gather up some of the burnet and some of Doveheart's borage leaves into xir mouth, to take back to where Spottedpaw was standing, and eventually, to their Clan.

"That's good news," Doveheart replied with a happy nod. It was indeed good news—it meant that the disease wouldn't spread to KnollClan at the gatherings. "While we're here, there's a question from my Clanmates that one of you might be able to answer. Do either of your Clans use any herbs for helping along a kitting?"

"You mean ragwort?" Fogstone asked.

"Or raspberry leaves?" Acornstripe piped in.

"No, not any of those. Something more in the... beforehand."

Acornstripe frowned and shook xir head.

"Is KnollClan having trouble producing kits?" Spottedpaw asked.

Xir mentor turned and growled at xem. "Doveheart said nothing of the sort, Spottedpaw, and you're best off not voicing assumptions."

"Yes, Fogstone."

Though uneasy with the question, Doveheart was more bothered by the way the apprentice so easily conceded to the reprimand—striking xem with a pang of jealousy. Should xe wish for KnollClan's apprentices to be more like Spottedpaw? Xe wasn't sure xe really wanted that. More deference would be nice, yes, but Spottedpaw was not an apprentice to be envied, in xir opinion. After a few blinks, Doveheart replied, "Some in our Clan would like to have a means for kits to come sooner rather than later. In any case, we will all have new litters in time."

Acornstripe coughed and padded to the other side of the rim.

"Should any of you find a new herb for your medicine," Doveheart continued, "I trust you will share it with us, no matter the use." Then xe stretched xir paws down the outer side of the well and jumped down, heading to collect for xemself some burnet as well as horsetail and feverfew. There were some herbs that grew better in some territories than others, and the medicine cats made a practice of sharing their resources.

"Is it time for the blossoms yet?" Acornstripe asked.

It was Fogstone who replied, "It can be if you'd like."

Accepting that answer, the MeadowClan cat leaped off the well and joined the others in snipping blossoms from the yellow flowers that grew around the well. Not long ago, a ritual had arisen around the well and its flowers. At each medicine cat gathering, they always picked for themselves a flower and whispered into its petals their deepest regrets in the past moon—sometimes a mistake or a misstep, sometimes a patient lost, sometimes an unkind word, sometimes a word not spoken.

Fogstone was quick with xirs, whispering something short before jumping onto the rim and casting the blossom into the waters below. The splash was audible to only a cat's ears, small and soft. The flower was unreachable now, gone from xir power forever. After gathering up xir bundle of herbs, the gray BrookClan cat turned and left. Spottedpaw took a bit more time and eventually followed, while Doveheart hesitated. Xe didn't know whether to say something about Adderpaw and Emberpaw. Their behavior wasn't something xe should blame xemself for. In the end, xe pressed xir nose into the petals and whispered nothing but Frostkit's name. Then xe closed xir eyes and dropped it into the well.

When xe opened them, Acornstripe was still standing there on the rim, watching xem. Xir blossom had already been let go. Xe cast a glance over xir shoulder before saying, "Doveheart, there's something I want to tell you."

"Something you couldn't say in front of BrookClan?" There wasn't any bad blood between them that xe knew of. None recently, anyway.

"It doesn't concern them. I want to tell you what I dropped into the well."

Doveheart was taken aback. Their secrets weren't exactly sacred, but the point of the ritual was that their secret regrets were theirs and theirs alone, and no cat was meant to share what they had spoken to the blooms. "You shouldn't do that," xe answered, and then xe jumped down to go pick up xir herbs.

"But I want to, " xe insisted, jumping down as well. "You've always been kind to me, Doveheart. I want you to know. I'm having kits."

Doveheart spun around, xir fur standing on end. Xir eyes were even wider now. So Leechwhisker had been right, as usual, despite xir hopes to the contrary. Forcing xemself to swallow, xe gathered xir wits and stammered, "So... you're... keeping it secret, then, so as not to embarrass the father?"

"Oh, the father isn't in MeadowClan."

"Oh." Such a thing wasn't unheard of among warriors. Any litter was something worth celebrating, no matter where it came from. The offspring of kittypets were a more controversial topic, as the bloodlines of hardier cats were preferred, but every able-bodied kit had a chance at becoming a warrior. Cross-Clan relationships were tolerated with the mindset that as long as the mates were productive, a mother would sooner defend her kits than turn traitor for the enemy. Then again, attitudes were a bit stricter toward cats-who-can't-have-kits, who would be doing more to help their Clan by mating with the cats within it.

However, it was different for medicine cats. For them, any mating was forbidden. Their attention was to be devoted to solely to the health of their Clan. Problems always arose whenever medicine cats were required to treat themselves—for wounds and sickness and the like—but handling a kitting alone was thought to be a far more arduous task, akin to entering battle without the aid of one's Clanmates. Apprentices were made to understand this at an early age. Acornstripe surely knew it, too. What cat didn't? Doveheart was so caught up in mulling this over, wondering if this were someone's foul idea of a pre-emptive war strategy, the incapacitation of a Clan's sole medicine cat, that xe didn't even notice that Acornstripe was still talking until she was quite finished.

"...like StarClan said he would, in my dream, and— and then he just left, and Doveheart, oh Doveheart, I don't know what to do!"

"Well," xe began, searching for words, "you'll want someone knowledgeable there at your kitting, so you should go your leader and talk about taking an apprentice."

"Oh... Oh, good idea... taking an apprentice..."

Doveheart tilted xir head. Part of xem worried that if Acornstripe took an apprentice, xe might forget xe had one. "Can you remember that?"

"I'm not stupid!" xe hissed. "I know you sometimes think I am, but I'm not!"

The other cat flattened xir ears back, surprised by xir anger.

"The nerve of some of you KnollClan cats!"

"Acornstripe, did you... did you mean to mate with him?" If she hadn't—

"Yes, but that's got nothing to do with it!"

Doveheart blinked and shifted xir weight. "Alright." Maybe Acornstripe had good reason—though what good reason that could be, xe couldn't imagine.

The brown tabby sighed and lowered xir head. "You don't understand."

"That's true," xe admitted, and xe had no hopes to, "but it's all going to be fine. If you'd like, I can travel to your Clan for your kitting, to help."

The MeadowClan cat didn't answer at once, and Doveheart stepped forward to press xir head underneath Acornstripe's chin, rubbing against xem in an attempt to help xem feel better. The other tabby remained stiff and did not reciprocate. After a pause, xe muttered, "The offer is appreciated, Doveheart, but that won't be necessary once I take an apprentice."


	6. The Encounter

**Author's Note: This chapter, along with the chapter before it, features gendered pronouns. Rest assured this is deliberate.**

CHAPTER SIX

After Acornstripe's cold rebuff, Doveheart's journey home was drenched in quiet inner turmoil and continued attempts to flatten xir fur. Xe had only meant to show kindness, and that MeadowClan cat had thrown it right back in xir face. That insufferable simpleton. She seriously believed that StarClan sent her signs through her dreams.

As much as xe cultivated xir distain, though, and tried to use it as a blockade, the gray tabby still winced at the thought of their parting words, a deep chill wracking xir small frame as xe remembered the look in her eyes. Her crass dismissal stung like a hornet, and half of that sting was due to xir own critical self-doubt—that maybe xe had been too insensitive xemself, speaking as a cat who could never understand. That didn't mean Acornstripe was entitled to resent any offer of help, though. Then again, medicine cats had a responsibility to serve all, and if Doveheart went out of xir way to help a cat of another Clan, it would be no more than xe was obligated to do. There was nothing above and beyond expectations about fulfilling the scope of xir role. Perhaps Acornstripe didn't need to recognize xir words as generosity, and perhaps she had good reason to be angry. Perhaps, in xir confusion, xe had been too unsympathetic.

The origins of the brown tabby's plight were something xe could not wrap xir head around. In all xir life, xe had never felt any of the kinds of attraction that led to taking a mate. There was strong evidence everywhere that other cats felt differently, but those were emotions that Doveheart could not relate to. There were many cats that xe cared about, many significant relationships in xir life, many bonds that were important to xem. But xe had never felt what Acornstripe had said she'd felt toward that tom. Xe'd never met a cat that had attracted xem in such a way, and xe had never fallen in love. Xe liked to think it was better for the Clan that way.

Arriving back at camp, Doveheart had to shake xir head in response to Wrenface's eager look, xir mouth too full of herbs for xem to speak. A convenient excuse. Wrenface lowered xir tail and thanked xem anyway, then picked up a thrush from the fresh-kill pile and rejoined Spiderclaw for a meal. There were still a few herbs that the medicine cat had meant to collect yesterday but hadn't, so xe deposited the other Clans' contributions in xir store with the intention of turning back and going out again. But first, xe looked around the clearing for Leechwhisker. Xe was nowhere to be seen.

"Have you seen Leechwhisker?" xe asked Molenose.

"Leechwhisker? Xe's taking a nap. Leechwhisker, Lilyfang, Daisyfur, Yellowstar—they've all been doing a lot today, talking a lot with each other, going around being serious. Daisyfur hasn't even had time to arrange as many patrols. Anyway, Leechwhisker said xe doesn't want to be disturbed."

"Oh. Well, sounds like xe's earned some sleep. I'll leave xem be," Doveheart replied, though inside xe was disappointed. That was just xir selfishness, though. Xe tried to set it aside.

"Look, there's Blacktail. I'll talk to you later, Doveheart, okay?"

Before xe could answer, Molenose was trotting off to be with the other warrior.

Not being in the mood to visit with Brownstripe, the medicine went to the fresh-kill pile to have xemself a vole, casting a few wistful glances at the warrior's den. After the vole was finished and no one had emerged, xe got up, hesitated, and went to the mouth of the leader's den.

"Yellowstar?"

"What is it you want, Doveheart?" came the reply, tired and hoarse.

Doveheart took that as an invitation to come inside. Daisyfur was there as well, standing, appearing calm and weary, if a little agitated. The pale tabby who was their leader was sitting with xir tail strewn out behind, the tip of it twitching at the end.

"Just... Just to ask, if I may, that—"

"Out with it and be done here. Don't you have that gathering to go to tonight?"

"That's been finished now."

"Alright, what is it?"

"Simply to make known to you that the Clan is in need of a medicine cat apprentice, as soon as there are kits old enough."

"You mean _you_ are in need of an apprentice."

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean," Doveheart returned with a scowl. Xe noticed that Daisyfur's tail was lashing.

Then something odd happened. Yellowstar rose to xir paws. The medicine cat braced xemself. Yellowstar started toward xem, joints creaky and old, with the dull gaze of a cat who had seen death, and when xe was near enough, xe gave the medicine cat a lick on the head. "As soon as it is possible, Doveheart."

The gray tabby let out a nervous breath, having flattened xemself down in submissive anxiety.

Yellowstar didn't expend any more niceties before declaring, "But we don't have any kits right now, so get out."

"Yes, Yellowstar." Doveheart trotted out of the den with xir tail high, understanding that this was one of Yellowstar's better moods. If the stories were to be believed, xe wasn't always this way, but Doveheart didn't begrudge xem anything for it.

Now it was time to collect some rosemary and poppy seeds. Heading out onto timeworn paths, xir mind remained on KnollClan's leader, even as xe was digging up some tormentil root, the dirt crumbling around xir paw. Doveheart didn't think about it much before, but Yellowstar had probably seen many medicine cats come and go in xir time. Were there any that Yellowstar preferred over xem? What had they all been like? Had all of them maintained their vows, and kept their celibacy?

As far as xe knew, it was an odd thing, medicine cats having kits. It wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't the worst thing to happen to a Clan, either, but Doveheart was of the opinion that vows taken should be vows kept. A cat's word was only as good as xir record of adhering to it. Xe didn't understand any cat who couldn't choose between taking a mate and working with plants. For xem, the answer was obvious.

With their blossoms and fronds and rattling seeds, plants were mysterious. They never ate, only drank, and seemed to thrive in spite of this, taking sustenance from nothing but the now-hidden sun. It was amazing how something so simple could be so complex. They never walked because they grew their whiskers in the ground; they never made a sound but for rustling in the breeze. They created themselves in odd shapes and colors and produced curious smells, and they did not seem to mind a sacrifice to help the lives of others.

Xe liked to think that if plants could talk, they'd be the rather friendly sort. Or maybe they could already talk, just like cats, and preferred not to. Xe could understand that as well. Xe didn't always like to talk either. Sometimes it was better not to.

Passing a bramble bush, Doveheart bent xir head and snipped off a few hardy stalks of purple-flowering rosemary, its thin, evergreen leaves tickling xir whiskers. The plant had a mesmerizing, relaxing scent that soothed a cat's nerves, which was why it was a comfort to have it around in times of grief. Smelling it now, xe was hit with memories of KnollClan's most recent burial.

Trying to set those thoughts aside, xe passed by the fallen log and forced xemself to continue on. The forest was still lit with the light of the half-moon, filtered through broad leaves, with moss and tree trunks discernible by shape and smell. The wind was blowing toward BrookClan territory, away from KnollClan camp. Xe would find the poppies farther along near the rocky slopes.

"Hello, Doveheart."

Xir heart stopped as the medicine cat flipped around and found xemself face to face with none other than the rogue. It was still a few tail-lengths away, but that was far closer than it should have been, far further into their territory and the medicine cat's realm of safety than should be allowed. Xir fur stood on end and xir whiskers flattened against xir face as xe arched xir back and stared.

The codeless cat before xem was a large, strong ginger tabby, with a chipped fang, a narrow face, and a scent that was distinctly male. He was staring her in the face and saying, "Don't be afraid. " His voice was deep, rich, and warm, sounding as soft and as close as her own fur, oddly friendly for an immoral vagrant. It was as unsettling as it was impertinent. "You're the healer, aren't you? I need your help."

It was only then that she noticed the bloody gash on his shoulder. She glanced at it quickly and then reaffixed her gaze to his, completely tense. Without breaking eye contact, she slowly lowered the mouthful of herbs onto the mossy ground, still watching him.

He took that as a cue to take a step forward, and she jumped back, flattening her ears. "DON'T— Don't come closer."

The rogue withdrew his paw, twitching his whiskers and eying her over as he asked, "You're not afraid, are you?" His tone was light, mocking, but it sizzled with an insidious lilt that did not question her fear so much as reaffirmed it. He let his backside fall and lowered his shoulders until he was lying on his side. There he took his eyes off the Clan cat, self-assured of his safety, and proceeded to lick one of his paws. "I just want you to help me, " he explained. "I'm hurt."

She took a step to the side and raised her head, scrutinizing him. The wound looked recent, though not fresh. It had already congealed over and made a mess of his fur.

"It still hurts," he added with a wince and a grunt as he repositioned himself.

He probably deserved it.

The rogue frowned and looked up at her. "Come on now. Don't you have an obligation to give help to those in need?"

It was true. In her ceremony she had sworn to protect all cats equally, and the medicine cat vows included a promise to give aid and comfort to any cat who asks, wording that was generally interpreted to mean their responsibility extended to the young and injured of another Clan, but given the phrasing, it technically could extend to anyone. Even though she didn't answer, he saw that she was relenting.

As the rogue closed his eyes and lay down his head, she snipped off a piece of the tormentil root, chewed it, and approached him gingerly. When he showed no signs of stirring, she spat the pulp up onto her paw and made haste to rub it onto his wound, making him flinch. She didn't apologize.

"I know what you're thinking. I shouldn't be here."

"You shouldn't be here."

He chuckled. "Don't you think there's more to life than rules and borders, Doveheart?"

She disregarded the question, demanding, "How do you know my name?"

"You want to know what my name is?" He shifted his weight onto his paws and started to stand, prompting her to scuffle back away from him, maintaining her distance, and he fixed her with a burning stare. "I am Rusty the Incorrigible. I am the Red Terror. I am the Unquenchable Flame. I answer to no one." There were distinct scent-borders he must have crossed to get here, markers that flagged this place as KnollClan territory, and despite them, as he was speaking, he backed up to the trunk of an old elm and sprayed.

"Get out of KnollClan territory. You're not welcome here."

He twitched his whiskers. "I know."

Just then, one of his ears flicked back, catching a distant sound. He continued to gaze at her while licking his whiskers, lingering with what time he had left, then turned and bounded off over the brambles with a final flick of his fiery-orange tail.

Doveheart let out a sigh of tempered relief. He wasn't really gone yet, xe was sure, and that spelled more trouble for the Clan, but at the very least the brute had left xem alone, for now. The splatter of urine was still dripping down the dampened bark, reeking of his overpowering stench, suggesting that this encounter would be far from the last. A cat wouldn't leave a marker without expecting to come back. It was brazen behavior to take place on claimed territory, done as though the Clans posed no threat at all. Fearing when the rogue might return, xe gathered xir herbs up once more and resumed xir journey back to camp at a quickened pace, feeling as small and nervous as a hunted bird.


	7. The Report

CHAPTER SEVEN

After returning to camp, Doveheart deposited xir herbs and went to see Yellowstar, deciding to skip the greeting. Xe simply bowed xir head and said, "I'm here to report another rogue sighting."

Yellowstar did not look up, swishing xir tail. "Yewstorm already told me."

"No, this time I'm the one who saw it."

"Again?"

"Again."

"Where?"

"Between the rocky slopes and the tree bridge."

The leader narrowed xir eyes and pulled xemself to xir paws. Xir glare, the glare of eyes that had seen death, had the medicine cat feeling as though it were xe who had trespassed. It seemed that Yellowstar was waiting for more of an explanation, so xe added, "It... came from downwind and caught me by surprise."

"You don't look any the worse off for it," Yellowstar remarked.

Xe swallowed. "It... didn't attack me. It was injured."

"And you probably helped it, didn't you?"

"I-I'm a medicine cat..."

"Have you no loyalty to your Clan?" the leader spat.

"What was I supposed to do, refuse to help? There's no honor in that!"

"Those clawmarks were put there by Yewstorm, a warrior of KnollClan. That rogue has no business being here, and your meddling serves only to sabotage xir efforts."

Xe could feel xir pulse quickening as xir own temper began to slip. "So we are to follow the code only when it is convenient to us?"

"This wouldn't have happened if you weren't always running into it. Your duties do not require you to leave camp. You will stay out of the forest from now on."

Although Doveheart knew xe didn't want to see that rogue again anyway, xe wanted to point out that xe would still need to venture into the forest from time to time, to replenish xir store of medicine, but before xe could speak Yellowstar interjected an even harsher proclamation.

"At this rate, Doveheart, you wouldn't even deserve an apprentice if we had one to give you. KnollClan cannot afford to waste resources, and with how long we've had an empty nursery, it's a given that we'll need every kit from the next litter to be trained as a warrior by loyal cats who will do what is best for the Clan. We will not give our valuable kits away to the likes of you."

Stunned, Doveheart didn't know what to do with xir indignation. Xe hadn't been expecting anything as far as that. To preemptively deprive xem of an apprentice wasn't fair. There were no kits to put a claim on anyway, it shouldn't have mattered, and it surprised xem how much it hurt, as xe realized that this was the pain of xir smallest hope being wrenched away. Xe didn't know what to do. Staring at Yellowstar, xe had to wonder how long the leader was willing to postpone her mentorhood, how long xe would make this last, whether in the future battles sure to come Yellowstar xemself would be injured and in need of aid, and how much contempt xe would still have for the practices of medicine cats then. Xe was getting on in age these days. Did xe really think xe had lives to spare?

"Yellowstar, how many lives do you have now?" Doveheart asked.

It was the wrong question to ask. The pale tabby began to lash xir tail as xe growled, "_Get out of my den_."

At that, the medicine cat knew xe had overstayed xir welcome. Xe whirled around and ran, not looking back.

Leechwhisker caught up with xem once xe was outside. "What's the matter? It sounded like you and Yellowstar were having a row." Such a thing wasn't a common occurrence, which accounted for xir confused and concerned expression. As a medicine cat, Doveheart had a higher rank than xe did, but everyone owed deference to the leader.

It was such a relief to see xem again, Doveheart hardly had an answer for xem. "Oh, Leechwhisker." Xir legs nearly buckled from underneath xem as xe rubbed against the tortoiseshell in sapping relief. "I saw the rogue again," xe explained, still shaken, "and it was injured and wanted help... and Yellowstar told me I shouldn't've."

Leechwhisker said nothing, mulling over xir own thoughts.

It seemed that no more good could come of speaking of it anymore, and xe didn't want to tell xir friend that xe was now forbidden from taking an apprentice. Tentatively, Doveheart pursued a different subject, hoping some good news would soothe xir nerves. "How's Emberpaw?"

The tortie sighed, looked away, and answered, "Stubborn."

"Xe takes after Yewstorm."

"Yes. But not enough."

* * *

Doveheart remained in camp as Yellowstar had ordered, but as xe lay beside Leechwisker and licked the fur of xir paws, xe couldn't help thinking about what xe'd said. KnollClan's own leader seemed to resent xir following the medicine cat code. Was that because Yellowstar had only ever been a warrior in xir own life, or did that same disdain extend to the warrior code as well, whenever it posed an inconvenience to xir immediate gain? Was there anything to be gained at all from obeying it, besides bolstering one's own sense of self-righteousness? Doveheart liked to think there was a good side to every cat, but with Rusty... xe couldn't be sure. Maybe xe was just being self-centered... by helping others? Since when was that self-centered? But xir allegiance was to xir Clan, and xe wasn't helping them by adhering to xir own protocol. Then again, that's partly what being a medicine cat was about. From their very apprenticeship, they were set apart, loyal to everyone and no one, caring for all indiscriminately.

It was just that medicine cats just so happened to enjoy living with Clans, and Clans just so happened to find it pragmatic to keep a few around. For all intents and purposes, medicine cats might as well be traveling healers, going where the wind takes them, if that hadn't been the more inconvenient way. It wasn't as though any of them would refuse to treat a cat from another Clan. For a medicine cat, what did borders really mean, anyway?

"Maybe I was wrong."

Leechwhisker's head lifted, xir ears pricked forward as xe clarified, "About the water hemlock?"

"What? No, not that. Maybe I shouldn't have done anything for the rogue." Xe felt queasy thinking about it now.

Xir friend, being just as uncertain, asked xem, "Do you regret helping it?"

The tabby had to think about that. Xe didn't really know. Xe'd helped Adderpaw and Emberpaw, and those two had done worse things than cross imaginary lines and feed themselves. "No. But maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, either." Or maybe it didn't matter. Doveheart stretched and curled up tighter, intending to put off the issue and get some more sleep.

"Hey. Don't just drop out of the conversation." Leechwhisker stood up and walked around to face xem. "I know you don't just quit caring about things. Say what you're thinking. Was it even nice to you about it? Was it a simpering mouse-brain? Did it treat you like the droppings of a badger?"

Doveheart twitched xir whiskers and raised xir head. "Something like that. He was very... sure of himself."

Leechwhisker sat down and waited for more information, prompting, "Like Brownstripe?"

"No! Not at all like Brownstripe."

"Just a son of a badger, then?"

"He called himself 'the Red Terror'."

"Just a son of a badger then."

Doveheart didn't say anything.

"If I were you, I wouldn't help him next time."

"Even if he needed it?"

"Especially if he needed it."

"Because he's not nice enough to meet your standards?"

"Because he's just a son of badger who needs to get his skinny tail off our territory."

The medicine cat set xir head down, gazing straight ahead. "It is kind of strange that he sticks around. Most cats would leave before taking a hit like that."

"So not only is it a rogue, it's a stupid rogue."

"Leechwhisker, you know better. If the rogue were so foolish, our warriors wouldn't be taking so long in solving the problem."

"Well what could it possibly want? If it needs prey to hunt, there are places it can go where it wouldn't have to constantly run and hide."

It was a good point, but it didn't help either of them to understand. Doveheart sighed. "I don't know." On that low note, xe closed xir eyes and let xemself have more rest. When xe awoke again, the sun was beginning to rise, and a big brown tabby was in xir face.

"Good morning, Brownstripe."

"That depends on how one assesses the goodness of a morning, don't you think? Listen—guess what this is: I run without paws, have branches without leaves, have a mouth but never eat, can grow but never die. What am I?"

"The river. Brownstripe, you've already told me this one."

"I have? Oh, so I have. Wait, wait, just this one more. What cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelled?"

"I don't know. The wind?"

"Wrong! You can hear and feel the wind!" To say the answer, Brownstripe leaned in with a sinister look. "It's _darkness_."

"Oh now Brownstripe, that doesn't work. You can see darkness."

"On the contrary, the entire concept of darkness is that which cannot be seen."

"This isn't relevant to my duties. I'm just a medicine cat." With that self-effacing dismissal, Doveheart tried to curl up and ignore him, tucking a paw over xir nose.

Brownstripe tilted xir head, curling xir tail over xir paws. "Four paws... Two ears... Two eyes... Do you ever wonder why we don't have more noses?"

"You'd run out of places to put yours," xe grumbled.

"What?" The brown tabby's attention was brought back to the medicine cat just as Daisyfur approached. Doveheart drew xir head back up just in time to notice the way that Brownstripe shied away from the deputy.

"Doveheart. Redfang's cough needs attention."

The gray tabby stood and stretched, arching xir back. "Certainly. We've got a few things for that."

"_Now_, if possible."

Xe nodded, getting the message, and trotted off in a hurry to gather some round, yellow leaves from xir den. These xe brought to the old stump that was the elders' usual lounging place. Laying there were Redfang and Ravenfur. They were eying xem as xe approached, and they tilted their heads in tandem.

Doveheart set down the leaves in front of the ginger tabby. "I've been informed you have a bad cough, Redfang."

"I've been informed you saw the rogue, again, medicine cat." Redfang lifted xir chin and looked down xir nose at xem, then lowered xir head in a fit of coughs.

"Yes, that's true. Eat some of this; it should help."

The ginger did nothing but cough more, and the black cat interjected, "Did you kill it?"

"D— _what?_"

"Did you kill it?"

"I've not been trained as a warrior, Ravenfur."

"Did you try?"

"...You know I didn't."

"Gave it herbs, more like," mumbled Redfang.

"Yes, we're all aware. Now have these."

Xe picked up a few of the leaves and started to chew them, making a face.

Ravenfur twitched xir whiskers. "Little tender-hearted medicine cat—can't resist tending to anyone's wounds."

"Now Ravenfur—"

"You call yourself our Clanmate? A loyal cat would have fought it off. It was already bleeding; you had the advantage."

Xe had most certainly not had the advantage. Doveheart scowled, lashing xir tail. "Leave it to someone else to be a loyal cat. My path is my own."

As xe turned and left, xe could hear Redfang coughing behind xem, and Ravenfur muttering, "...the path of a medicine cat who can't even cure a mild cough."

The tansy would take time to take effect, but the comment stung anyway. The last thing xe needed now was the Clan losing faith in xir skills. Xe headed back to where xe had been napping with Leechwhisker, but by that time, the warrior was gone on the dawn patrol.


	8. Bloodshed

CHAPTER EIGHT

"Daisyfur, we need to talk."

The ginger tabby brushed xem off, turning away without breaking stride. "Yellowstar's health is fine. Your concern is unwarranted."

"Daisyfur," xe persisted. "It's not about xem. It's about Redfang and Ravenfur."

"Still coughing?"

"Yes, but—"

"You'll have to make do with what herbs you have." With that, xe started to leave camp, crossing from the camp clearing into the thicker part of the forest.

"It's about your kits!"

Daisyfur stopped. "Redfang and Ravenfur aren't my kits."

"No, you mouse-brain." Xe twitched xir whiskers, knowing that Daisyfur was still trying to put xem off. "Adderpaw and Emberpaw. Emberpaw still goes to listen to them and their stories, doesn't xe?"

Xe turned xir white muzzle around to face the medicine cat and blinked once, holding xir gaze steady. "...Yes."

"You should drop by and listen to them sometime. See how they've been talking to the apprentices."

"Are you taking after Molenose now?"

Doveheart had no answer to that.

The deputy stepped toward xem and turned xir body around, coming closer into the gray cat's gaze. "You're overstepping your bounds, Doveheart. Emberpaw isn't your apprentice."

"Well if xe were—"

"Well xe is not."

The two cats glared at each other, and Doveheart felt xir pelt prickle with all the things between them that for so long had gone unspoken, and which Daisyfur still refused to say. Xe didn't need to say it outright for the medicine cat to feel the scorn. Xe still blamed xem, even after all this time. Perhaps xe always would.

"Regardless, Daisyfur," xe continued on, despite the sting, "you should be concerned what ideas Redfang and Ravenfur are spreading through our Clan, beginning with the young ones who are our future."

Daisyfur seemed to consider that for a moment, though xe said nothing, xir face unexpressive. The yellow tabby cat was so much unlike xir mate.

"Where do you think Emberpaw got the idea to try eating water hemlock?"

The deputy scowled, hesitant to believe xir insinuation. "You can't blame the elders for that."

"Do you think it was something that Leechwhisker or Lilyfang was talking about?"

"It could have been. Or it could have been you."

"Daisyfur, think about this," xe pleaded, stepping closer. "They spend so much time at the elder's stump. Aren't you curious what they're learning?"

"Our Clan's history," xe replied, brushing past xem on the way back into camp, "and the loyalty of its warriors." That, Doveheart was fairly certain, was a jab at her, for tending to the wounds of the rogue. Xe must've talked with Yellowstar. The gray tabby stood there watching him go, feeling powerless to effect change, until the deputy added in a different voice, "Come on, Doveheart. We'll go talk to them."

Raising xir tail as straight up as a sapling, the medicine cat trotted up to xir side, relieved to have broken through xir stubbornness. Though xe was grateful and heartened by the invitation, xe wasn't going to say anything, for fear of risking this tenuous concession and tipping the scales back toward the deputy's deep-seated and long-nurtured resentment.

So it surprised xem when Daisyfur spoke, telling her, "Yellowstar has always told me that foolish is the deputy who does not listen to the medicine cat."

Xe wasn't sure what politics were behind Daisyfur's decision to tell xem this, or whether the saying was anything that Yellowstar would still be saying now, but xe decided to reply in kind, answering, solemnly, without reservation, "KnollClan is honored to have xem as a leader."

As the two of them headed toward the elder's stump, Doveheart swept xir gaze over camp for any sign of the apprentices, but xe didn't catch sight of them before they reached the elder's favorite sunning place. Having watched them approach, Redfang and Ravenfur were lying beside the stump as always, their ears pricked forward and their expressions betraying a patronizing disinterest.

Daisyfur stopped before them and dipped xir head in respect, making Doveheart feel obligated to do the same, though the feeling was no longer in xir heart. The deputy took a seat, xir tail draped out behind them, while the medicine cat remained on xir paws.

"Tell us another story," Daisyfur said. "It's been so long since I've heard one from you."

"That's because when you were apprentices, we were still out killing mice and keeping MeadowClan off the rocky slopes," Ravenfur remarked.

It was true; Doveheart could remember the days, back when xe expected to become a warrior, that xe looked up to Ravenfur, hoping to one day be as great. Most of xir kithood had been spent in the anxiety that in xir smallness and with xir inhibitions, xe would never make as good a warrior as xir siblings. Spiderkit was quick and fierce, and Molekit was sharp and perceptive, but though xe had some skills of xir own, xe was certain xe would never amount to as much. Later, xe decided that healing was xir true calling, but only after the leader had assigned xem to the medicine cat as an apprentice.

Xe had never been given the chance to fully test xemself and develop xir hunting skills, and there was no telling how good xe would have been, but there was no chance for that now, now that xir mentor was gone and xe remained the Clan's sole medicine cat without an apprentice.

"You're grown up now, with a whole Clan to run," Redfang added toward Daisyfur. "Don't you have more important things to do than to listen to stories?"

"Nothing is more important to me than my Clan," xe returned.

Redfang and Ravenfur looked at each other.

"Did the medicine cat put you up to this?" Ravenfur asked.

"Yes," Doveheart interjected, answering for xemself. "Tell xem what you've been telling the apprentices."

"Oh, nothing much, really," the black cat replied, rolling onto xir back to wriggle and scratch an itch. "Just a few detailed accounts of the time that I took revenge on BrookClan and killed their deputy."

Doveheart's hackles rose, but it was Daisyfur who spoke. "KnollClan owes you no thanks, Ravenfur. If you hadn't done that, Silverstar would have conceded to end the war much sooner."

"Silverstar was a thief and a coward. Xir Clan got what it deserved. Anyway, the rest of the story is boring."

"So you choose the ugliest parts of our history to glorify to our young ones?" Doveheart asked, angry with the elder's complacency.

"It's our history, medicine cat, like it or not," Redfang replied, sitting up and eying xem with a hostile look. "Our apprentices have to face these realities personally, and there's no point in shielding them from the truth."

"But the truth isn't—"

"Show some appreciation for the ways of those who feed you."

"It's not—"

"Don't you get bored, sitting around your den doing nothing all day?"

"I don't— Look, I'm worried what effect on Emberpaw and Adderpaw it has had that you tell them stories that cherish bloodshed. They already—"

"You're going to blame us for the antics of a couple of kits?"

"I know how much trouble is normal for—"

"Listen to your elders, Doveheart. We're just preparing the warrior apprentices for the harshness of the life before them. We aren't ordering them to attack each other," Redfang pointed out, and Ravenfur chuckled.

Picking up where the ginger tabby had left off, the black cat continued, "And anyway, aren't you glad that they're giving you something to do?"

The medicine cat was floored. The serious injury and poisoning of an apprentice was not, in xir mindset, just a task to keep xem busy.

"You do like healing and all that rot, don't you?" When xe didn't answer, Redfang pressed on, "Isn't that why Yellowstar gave you the position?"

"No, it very much is not," xe answered, recovering from shock just enough to counter the question. "I became medicine cat because KnollClan needed one."

"If only there'd been someone more qualified for Yellowstar to choose at the time."

Doveheart looked to the deputy for help, unable to manage the way the elders could ram right through all xir attempts at discussion. The younger ginger tabby had remained quiet all this time, letting the exchange take its course. Xe met xir gaze now and continued to keep the silence, xir observance bare of any sympathy.

"They may get hurt, but at least it's nothing even you can't handle," Redfang stated.

"The apprentices don't visit you as often as they do us. Think of it as sharing."

"You should be happy for the company."

So why wasn't xe?

At that same moment, Doveheart's ears picked up on some troubled murmuring around camp as Adderpaw raced into the clearing, a panicked look in xir eyes. Xe skidded to a stop for a heartbeat before laying eyes on the medicine cat and sprinting toward xem. "Help! Wrenface is hurt!"

Despite feeling gripped by a jolt of alarm, Doveheart meowed, "Adderpaw, what happened?"

"We met another patrol—"

"What happened to Wrenface?"

"One of their warriors had xem pinned— xe's all bloody and— I think xe's alive but—" The apprentice was breathing too fast, xir eyes huge, xir voice mangled with the trimmings of guilt and fear.

"Lead me to xem," the medicine cat ordered.

Spiderclaw had already leapt to xir paws. "Let me come with you."

"Right, get me some— Nevermind." Doveheart ran to xir den to fetch it xemself, as xe was the only cat who would know what to get, the only one in camp who could recognize them by name. Then the two of them set off without a moment to lose to find their injured warrior.

They met the rest of the patrol half way between camp and the border, in the thicket where the holly berries grew. Browstripe was helping the smaller brown tabby to walk, for xir pelt was shredded with scratches, xir blood seeping from every wound, though the worst by far was xir face, bright red dribbling from where the claws had left their mark. During the fight, the warrior who had fought Wrenface must've hooked xem in the eye, because it looked nearly gouged, though still intact. What remained of xir eyelids were tightly clenched shut, thin streams of scarlet dripping onto xir cheeks.

As Brownstripe caught sight of the group approaching, xe muttered into Wrenface's ear, "The good bird is here."

Doveheart went straight to work in cleaning the wound, with Spiderclaw doing everything xe could to help, while Brownstripe took the distraught Adderpaw back to camp. Though Doveheart did not stop to dwell on the matter, the wounds were extensive, such as xe hadn't seen since the last major war. It didn't make sense. Patrols weren't supposed to attack each other—unless one of the other Clans had invaded. No one had given any sign of such intentions at the medicine cat gathering. Those little stinking clumps of dirt... It would be just like Fogstone to remain stonefaced before a cat whose Clan xe hoped to bring down. That cat rarely betrayed any of xir thoughts. And Spottedpaw had been acting funny... But it couldn't have been. Xe should have seen it coming. Xe was there, on their territory; there should have been some sign. Even though the other medicine cats owed xem no loyalty, xe felt as though xe had been betrayed. They couldn't have done this... but the evidence was right there before xem, in Wrenface's mewls of pain and the herb-ridden cobwebs covering xir face.

The two of them helped to guide the warrior back to camp, warning xem of anything underpaw on which xe might stumble. Spiderclaw was silent, concerned only with helping Wrenface make it home, and Doveheart's mind continued to wander over the other Clan's actions up until this point and what anyone could think to gain by attacking KnollClan now. The rogue on their land was a detriment, but that hadn't caused the whole Clan to crumble enough to enable an easy territory grab. On the other paw, there were fewer kits in their nursery than had been announced by other Clans at the last gathering... and KnollClan might've seemed the weaker for it. Now Doveheart was doubly glad xe hadn't taken Blacktail with xem to the medicine cat gathering, but xe was still fraught with worry over how it had come to this, at a time of relative good will and honest peace, and how Yellowstar would respond to the attack, xe did not know.

As they entered the camp, they continued on, guiding Wrenface to the medicine cat's den, passing by Daisyfur and Adderpaw on the way. The apprentice was always respectful of the deputy, but Doveheart had never seen xem so deferential as now, xir ears flattened, making xemself small before xir tail-lashing parent.

Doveheart could almost smell how much Spiderclaw was bristling with questions, anxious whether Wrenface would be alright, but unlike Molenose, xe was not inclined to speak them. Xe knew better to press the medicine cat when it was already clear Wrenface's recovery would be xir top priority, and as for Wrenface xemself, xe was holding xir tongue about what had happened, too focused on making one pawstep after the other. In silence they brought the injured warrior to into the cool shadow of Doveheart's den, and there they let him lie down to rest. At that point, Doveheart turned xir head to look at xir old littermate, as if to give xem a cue to leave, but the black cat only stared back. No words were spoken. Doveheart dropped the issue and resumed examining the cat under xir care, prompting xem with a few questions about xir condition. The poppy seeds had been too much to carry, so xe asked the brown tabby, who had not received any, whether xe was in any pain, and continued the treatment from there.

"What's the forecast, Doveheart?" Wrenface asked at last, relaxing onto xir side. Xe wasn't the sort of warrior to make light of things, but xe also didn't want to seem too worried for xemself and was probably curious how long xe'd be here.

"You'll live," was xir curt answer. Xe was still looking xem over and making an assessment of how long it would take the wounds to fully heal. Xir mobility hadn't seemed impaired on the way here, save for a slight limp. The scratches weren't very deep, either. Doveheart didn't think any of these would last long. Xe didn't say as much, though, because it always took some time to tell.

"I mean my eyes. When will I be able to see again?"

Doveheart stiffened. After a quick glance at Spiderclaw, who was still staring at them both, xe brought xir face close to the warrior's and scrutinized xir inured eyes once more, only to admit, "I don't know."


	9. To the Border

**Author's Note: We approach the end. Has it been a good ride?**

CHAPTER NINE

Outside, the murmurs were growing, fragmented news and rumors spreading throughout camp. Yellowstar had emerged from xir den and was calling for the Clan to gather for an announcement. Doveheart offered Wrenface a few words of reassurance, having done all xe could do, and went out to join the crowd of listening cats in the clearing.

"There has been a skirmish on the border with BrookClan," Yellowstar rasped, and at once yowls of surprise and outrage at the confirmation broke out from KnollClan's warriors, especially Yewstorm, who seemed ready to claw BrookClan apart by xemself.

Doveheart felt sick inside. So the attack had been from Fogstone's Clan. Fogstone had always been a very reserved cat, in Doveheart's opinion, but xe had thought after seeing each other at so many gatherings, the two of them might've become friends one day. Now xe had nothing but veiled hostility to expect at the next medicine cat gathering. They weren't supposed to let political squabbles and power plays come between the bond that united all medicine cats, but it was hard not to care when it was one's own food and kits on the line. Xe couldn't stop replaying in xir mind how cool and calm xe had been at the last medicine cat gathering, giving Doveheart no sign of what was to come. Xe resented xem for that—not that the other medicine cat owed xem anything, but bitterness welled within xir heart at the thought of any cat who could so dispassionately disassociate from looming war with the ones xe knew. Xe could have dropped a hint, allow KnollClan to prepare, or even suggest opening negotiations... BrookClan hadn't mentioned needing more territory at the last gathering, but even if they wanted to conceal the deal from MeadowClan, they could have done something, anything, to communicate with Yellowstar before resorting to this.

All these thoughts flew by in a flash, twisting in xir gut, and it was only as xir thoughts drifted back to the leader that xe realized what xe was saying.

"It was Adderpaw who attacked first, after the BrookClan patrol met ours at the border and exchanged words. Adderpaw lunged at their apprentice, and their patrol took that as a cue to attack our warriors as well."

Doveheart felt like the world had dropped out from under xem. Xe couldn't blame BrookClan for this—but now, oh how that xe wished that xe could.

"This outbreak of violence will lead to a misunderstanding with BrookClan if the matter is not quickly rectified, for they may now believe that we are at war. In the resulting fight between patrols, every cat was hurt, but Wrenface sustained the most serious injuries. Doveheart has been tending to xem, and xe has not yet given word on xir present condition. Doveheart?"

All eyes turned to the small gray medicine cat. Xe didn't feel ready to speak. "Wrenface has been blinded," xe answered, xir voice feeling flat and thin in xir mouth.

A wave of murmurs spread through the Clan again.

Yellowstar went on, "A group of cats must be sent to meet with the cats of BrookClan. We must make amends for this mistake and clarify that we do not condone what has happened. Last of all, Adderpaw must understand the consequences of what xe has done. In addition to xir apprentice duties, xe will now answer to Doveheart, who may use xem to complete whatever tasks the medicine cat may require."

Doveheart couldn't help but twitch xir tail upon hearing that. Dealing with an apprentice like Adderpaw was the last thing that xe wanted. What was Yellowstar playing at? Xe could have at least met with xem beforehand to discuss this before throwing it at them in an announcement—but then again, Doveheart wasn't sure how much xe wanted to deal with Yellowstar privately. The leader was intimidating and probably wouldn't be one for much negotiation. But then _again_, considering what the pale tabby had told xem last time, perhaps this was a show of good faith, an indication of a changed perspective for the better, intended or not. Xe might still be angry that the rogue was healed, but xe apparently trusted xem with some authority over an apprentice, and that was no small poppy seeds.

The medicine cat did not make eye contact with the apprentice even after the announcement had concluded, standing up to head back to xir den. Ahead xe could see Spiderclaw washing Wrenface's head, giving tender licks to xir fur between quiet murmurs. At the very least, xe could be glad that the warrior had someone like that to care for xem.

"Doveheart!" Yellowstar blurted, sounding irritated, and at once the medicine cat spun around.

"Yes, Yellowstar?"

"You're going to the BrookClan border with Blacktail and Daisyfur. Head out."

The gray tabby stood there for a moment before nodding assent, understanding that a medicine cat was the best emblem of truce. Wrenface would be fine in xir absence, and Spiderclaw would keep xem company. Xe had no worries about leaving camp—xe only had worries about making a journey with the deputy.

So xe was put on xir guard when, upon meeting up with the ginger tabby and the white cat, Daisyfur asked what xe planned to do with Adderpaw once xe returned to camp.

"I don't know," xe admitted, feeling sick with xemself for saying that again today, but it wasn't as though xe'd been given time to formulate a task list. Xe followed the two cats through the underbrush in the direction of sunset, adding, by way of explanation, "I wasn't prepared for this, Daisyfur."

"You've always said how much you wanted an apprentice," xe pointed out.

Xe was disgusted that the deputy would take it that way. Daisyfur knew quite well this wasn't at all what xe had wanted—a resentful, impulsive apprentice who had no interest in learning from xem and had been dumped with xem as restitution for Wrenface's injuries.

"Now I see," Blacktail remarked.

"Now you see what?" Doveheart asked, xir hackles rising. If these two were going to start ganging up on xem—

"Why Yewstorm says Daisyfur's a pain in the neck sometimes," xe answered, continuing on with a swaying tail.

Doveheart was too surprised to laugh. Daisyfur, for xir part, scowled and remained silent, but only for a moment. Xe couldn't resist eventually mewing, "And what else does xe say?"

Blacktail chuckled and carried on, leaping up onto a fallen log that crossed their path and dropping off the other side with the seamlessness of the wind. Xir voice was light and playful as xe responded, "Maybe you should ask xem."

Daisyfur grumbled under xir breath, following the same path up on the log with a little clawful scrabbling. "Xe loves me," xe insisted, though Doveheart suspected xe said it more as reassurance to xemself than for the rest of them. "Xe wouldn't be able to fake the emotion if xe didn't."

Like the last clinging green leaf in the time of leaf-fall, Daisyfur had always been difficult to shake from xir pattern of thought. It was troublesome at times, but it also made xem a source of constancy and peace, for the Clan and for xir mate as well. Doveheart could see how much that might serve as a vexing prickle as well as the adhesive cling of a burr between them.

"You used to be such an agreeable kit," Blacktail commented. "What happened to you?" Xe sent Daisyfur a teasing look and winked at Doveheart.

The ginger tabby pressed on, head low. "Swallowpelt died," xe answered back, referring to the Clan's last deputy. "That's what happened."

They didn't say anything after that.

As the earth cooled, a thin mist had descended over the underbrush, dampening every cat's sense of smell, softening the sounds of the forest, and making it harder to distinguish one scent from another, their olfactory outlines faded and blurred into a vague, pale haze. Blacktail's fur began to stand on end, showing uncharacteristic anxiety. Xe started looking over xir shoulder and kept on high alert as if to compensate for how much might be masked by the weather.

The trouble with silence was that it gave the opportunity for Doveheart's thoughts to drift back to what they were doing, slinking through the forest on the way to meet some probably-defensive-and-hostile members of BrookClan. Their leader, Newtstar, was new to the position after the recent death of Heronstar, and so the medicine cat did not know enough about xem to gauge whether xe might send another patrol so soon or mount an all-out attack. Not much of xir leading style had been seen by the Clans so far. Certainly no cat wise enough to become leader would take a skirmish as grounds for war. Xe just hoped, for KnollClan's sake, that Adderpaw and Brownstripe hadn't greatly harmed any of their warriors in return. And poor Wrenface—he didn't deserve any of this either. If it hadn't have been for Adderpaw...

Doveheart almost stopped short as a foreign smell entered xir nose. It was the smell of another cat, but this was too early for them to have reached the border. It smelled strong and musty and unaffiliated with any Clan, like—

Blacktail froze. "The rogue."

Daisyfur stopped too, opening xir mouth to get a better taste of the air.

"Come on. Let's keep going," Doveheart urged, still walking.

"No. It's been here."

Xe stopped and waited, unsure what the warriors wanted to do.

"About a day ago," Blacktail agreed. "It's not getting any mousier."

The medicine cat looked back over xir shoulder from one warrior to the other, but xe didn't say what xe was thinking. Daisyfur left a new scent-marker, an odorous reply to the intrusion, and then they continued on.

When they reached the border, just a few tail lengths from where a branch of the little brook flowed, they found themselves still alone, no additional patrols in sight, and the KnollClan cats turned to Daisyfur. The ginger tabby was staring out toward the ripples of the brook and the rushes and the reeds, the source of smells wet and earthy and cold, pricking up from the murky gauze that obscured the land beyond and the foreignness of the terrain that made up BrookClan territory. The tall plants that grew up around the water were the perfect place for an ambush, especially with the cover of the fog. Blacktail had seemed on the verge of asking if they should go forward, but the look on Daiyfur's face and xir silence told xem no.

They waited quietly for a time, the two of them waiting on Daisyfur, and Daisyfur waiting on another patrol. The day was waning, the sun dipping to meet with the soggy BrookClan land before them, its light diffusing through the mist. In the following lull, Blacktail took the opportunity to scale a tree and kill a bird. By the time xe brought it down, enough time had lapsed for Daisyfur to get around to speaking again.

"Will you be prepared?" xe asked.

Doveheart wasn't sure what to make of that question, xir mind immediately racing toward a possible confrontation with BrookClan—xir warrior skills were rusty at best, and xe hoped to avoid all conflict if xe could help it, knowing xe would be nothing but a liability if it came to unsheathing claws. Xir blood ran cold at the thought of what angry BrookClan warrior might do to xem. Xe also had to wonder if the deputy was asking something about the rogue—whether xe prepared to withhold medicine from it if they came across it and one of the warriors injured it again, a question xe didn't have an answer for, and xe bristled at the thought, unwilling to be put to the kittypet test yet again. Xe already had the leader questioning xir loyalty. Xe wasn't going to take it from Daisyfur, a cat whom xe had personally healed as an apprentice, that time when the little furball got xemself a minor scratch and had whined like a fussy kit.

"For Adderpaw," the deputy clarified. "You should have something in mind before you go back."

Doveheart's fur flattened. Xe felt embarrassed, catching the confused look that Blacktail sent xem.

"I know... I recognize, now," Daisyfur continued, "that xe hasn't always been... taught the right things... and it shouldn't always be left to you to clean up the mess. Xe's going to be resistant, and if you need me to knock some sense into xem..."

"That shouldn't be necessary." There had been too much reliance on knocking as a method of sense already. Doveheart didn't want to continue the tradition. "I just hope Emberpaw doesn't go back to Redfang and Ravenfur. If you'll just see to it that they don't—"

"Well, well, well."

The medicine cat nearly jumped out of xir fur at the sound of the new voice, whirling to see an approaching BrookClan patrol emerging through the foggy reeds. They were several warriors strong, each one of them fierce and glaring, headed by the chilling figure of the majestic tortoiseshell leader xemself.


	10. The Lesson

CHAPTER TEN

"Newtstar," Daisyfur greeted, dipping xir head in respect, and the two cats with xem did the same.

Doveheart could feel xemself shaking.

There was something about the leader's face that seemed _off_ somehow, with that vitriolic, zealous brightness in xir eyes that exceeded the norm, too vivacious and robust, and it took Doveheart a moment to realize why.

"What are you three here for? " the tortoiseshell demanded, tail lashing. "You can't take over BrookClan with three cats."

Daisyfur arched xir back defensively. "KnollClan would like to offer its apologies for—"

"How's the cat that Whiteclaw marked up?" Newstar interrupted.

"Recovering," Doveheart answered, even though the black-and-ginger cat hadn't been speaking to xem.

Xe turned xir gaze on the tabby and asked, "You're the medicine cat?"

For once, Doveheart wasn't self-conscious about it being obvious, though xe wasn't sure what to do now that the attention was on xem, xir whole body tense from the feeling of many pairs of BrookClan eyes. "...Yes, I am," xe admitted. "Yellowstar sent me with our deputy to assure you that KnollClan desires to maintain our state of peace, that this was not an act of war, and that the apprentice who attacked will be reprimanded."

"Not an act of war," Newtstar echoed, "but an act of _negligence_. How much is KnollClan struggling that it cannot command control over its own apprentices?"

Doveheart cringed.

"Perhaps the same thing that BrookClan is suffering," Daisyfur interjected, "that it cannot control its warriors. If Whiteclaw, a more thoroughly-trained, mature warrior, was fighting Wrenface, not Adderpaw, then why did xe so badly maim a cat who had not initiated the attack, when the patrol was retreating?"

Newtstar paused, eying them all, and then replied, succinctly, "Whiteclaw is a dedicated warrior who brings in much prey and whose contributions are valuable to the Clan."

It was an answer that Daisyfur seemed to understand the real meaning of, even if it wasn't a true apology, and Doveheart was relieved that Daisyfur was there. Xe didn't like the cat personally, but she'd gladly step back and let xem take over the absurd and mysterious dance of those in power. As for xem, xe just wanted to fade back into xir plants.

* * *

The peace-making party returned to camp at dusk, each of them tired not out of physical exhaustion but from the drain and strain of facing off with the uneasiness and suspicion of another Clan. The orange sun behind them made each of them into dark silhouettes as they padded into the clearing, burned-out but successful. Daisyfur broke off right away to report to Yellowstar, and Doveheart was scanning the camp for any sign of Adderpaw when Molenose bounded into view, acting much too energetic for a grown warrior of xir age.

"Hello Doveheart! Hello Blacktail!" xe exclaimed, rushing up to them. "What did BrookClan have to say?"

"Nothing worth repeating," Blacktail muttered, in xir usual way.

"It was mostly a lot of putting-on-airs and dramatic gesturing, figuratively speaking," Doveheart explained. "We should be okay."

"That's great! Well, uh, Doveheart, I think Adderpaw's hiding over there, if you want to go over and get started with xem," Molenose suggested, nodding in the right direction.

Doveheart was not eager to meet with the apprentice, but xe took the hint and left Molenose and Blacktail to themselves. It was something xe'd have to do anyway, xe reminded xemself, so xe shouldn't resent feeling pushed aside for blossoming love, of a kind that xe would never experience. Xe shouldn't blame the warrior for what xe could not and would not have, and for being a little absent-minded or unthoughtful at times. The cat was infatuated.

The medicine cat found Adderpaw where Molenose had told xem xe would, by the cowslip flowers. Xe was anticipating some trouble from this one.

The ginger apprentice had crouched down in an attempt to hide on the opposite side of camp from Doveheart's den, and xe flattened xemself down even more as the gray cat approached. Xe was still shell-shocked from the fight on the border, xir blood pumping like the falls of a river and xir young body quivering, xir heart disturbed by what xe had seen. When Doveheart took another step forward, their eyes having met, Adderpaw glared back at xem with a defiant stare, bared xir teeth, and hissed.

It was all too apparent, then, that Adderpaw meant to put xem off and provoke xem, to elicit a reaction, to incite the same anger that the apprentice had been dwelling in and prompt a rebuke of equal anger. If things were as Adderpaw thought they were, Doveheart would be furious and put xem in xir place, probably with a good swat at the smaller cat's ears. It was the natural way of things: aggression led to aggression, and the powerful maintained their dominance by growing vicious with those dared challenge them. This would prove it. But what xe had forgotten to factor in to her embittered scheme was that Doveheart was too tired to be furious.

The gray tabby flinched at first, the antagonism coming unexpected, but xir response was not in kind. Xe only looked at the apprentice with weary eyes and lowered xemself to the ground, folding xir paws underneath xir chest, like the apprentice's parent had done so many times before to calm the Clan in times of uproar. Xe wasn't even going to dignify the impertinence with a proper reprimand. Xe couldn't be mad at an apprentice who was likely wallowing in guilt and had no interest in learning a medicine cat's ways. Xe was tired.

"What are you mad about, Adderpaw?" xe asked.

Adderpaw looked appalled, taking Doveheart's disinterest in engaging with her as even more of a blow than anything else could have been, xir mouth hanging open but giving no answer. Xe made xemself even smaller and gave a pathetic mewl.

The medicine cat was prepared to wait there half the night if xe had to. However, xe would eventually need to check up on Wrenface again as xe had been trained to do, as xe was reminded when xir old littermate approached xir side. Spiderclaw's tail was low. "You're back," xe stated.

"Yes," xe replied. This was how conversations with Spiderclaw often went, for xem. Much went unspoken, and much didn't need to be said. Doveheart took the simple exchange as a sign that Spiderclaw was worried; otherwise xe would have never left Wrenface's side to seek xem out.

Adderpaw jumped to xir paws and growled. "We would have won if we'd had Lilyfang there instead of Wrenface! I don't want to have to take care of anybody! I want to be a warrior, not a medicine cat!"

"Doveheart, do you want me to get Lilyfang?"

"No, that shouldn't be necessary."

"Then I'll say it myself." The black cat turned xir yellow eyes on Adderpaw. "I am a warrior, and it's my duty to take care of my fellow warriors, just as it will one day be yours, if you ever straighten yourself out. If you don't respect your medicine cat, you'll never be one of us." With that, xe walked away, leaving it to Doveheart to deal with the impudent brat whose pugnacity had nearly started a war.

The medicine cat sighed and rose to xir paws, turning to head back to xir den. "Have you visited with Wrenface since the fight?" Xe would not dignify it by calling it a battle.

Adderpaw followed, a few tail-lengths behind, and mumbled, "No."

* * *

There was a part of Doveheart that already understood that the apprentice was sorry, but that part was not in conflict with the part that believed this was necessary. Redfang and Ravenfur still believed in a different understanding of what it meant to be a Clan, a faulty one, and xe did not have faith that either of xir littermate's short lectures would be enough to counteract a lifetime of the elders' stories. What Adderpaw needed, xe thought, was a different kind of story. But that didn't mean that xe was prepared for this.

As the two of them approached the den, Wrenface lifted xir brown head from xir paws and tilted it up as xe sniffed the air. "Adderpaw." Xir voice was soft, as always, and carried a hint of surprise, yet it was surprising itself how gentle it sounded, free of malice, unweighted, light in the air. Xir eyes had yet to unlearn their habit of trying to see; it was difficult to watch.

Adderpaw looked down at once and flattened xir ears. When xe spoke, it was not as an apology. "Why didn't you fight harder, Wrenface?" It sounded like a plea, but at the same time xe was blaming xem, still scornful that the warrior had gotten xemself injured and gotten the apprentice in trouble.

"It was not my fight to fight, little one," the dusky tabby replied. Xe sounded mournful, though not for xemself.

The apprentice glared and lashed xir tail. "You did it on purpose!"

Doveheart stepped in, giving xem a harsh look. "Adderpaw, does it look like xe would do this on purpose?"

Adderpaw looked at the warrior again and could not answer.

Losing patience for Wrenface's sake, the medicine cat continued into xir den and picked up some poppy seeds. Xe set xem before the warrior and nudged them forward with xir nose, saying, "If the pain comes back, you can swallow some of these seeds here, just to your left. I can take Adderpaw away and let you rest, if you want."

To xir surprise, the warrior purred a little in response, though as a medicine cat xe knew that cats had often purred before in discomfort or pain. "I heard Yellowstar's announcement," Wrenface said. "It's fine. Xe can stay." Though xe may not have been deliberately lying, there was a kind of fatalism in xir voice that suggested it wasn't fine. Then again, there was little room for maneuvering on this matter. Adderpaw had to be made to face what had happened, and that included facing up to the cat who'd been injured in the unnecessary skirmish.

"What's going to happen to Wrenface?" Adderpaw asked in a timid voice.

Doveheart looked at the warrior in question as xe spoke. "Xe may have to join the elders."

Wrenface lowered xir head onto xir paws.

Adderpaw, on the other paw, took it as though it were the worst news in the world, shouting out, "That's horrible!"

"What's so horrible about it?" the medicine cat shot back, keeping steady hold of xir temper.

"Xe won't be able to hunt or patrol or anything!"

"I'll still be with the ones I care about," Wrenface put in. Doveheart didn't have to ask to know whom xe was thinking of.

Adderpaw arched xir back. "Well, I don't want to have to take care of some lazy old elder who doesn't even care about being retired!"

"But Adderpaw, that's what we do in a Clan," Doveheart murmured. "We take care of each other. You brought prey to Redfang, didn't you? Lilyfang trained you, didn't xe? Your mother nursed you, didn't she? We take care of those who are dependent on us, even if we receive nothing in return, because we are Clanmates and we all depend on each other's loyalty. We are not loners who happen to share the same dens, tolerating one another, looking after only ourselves. We are a family who works together and we serve one another. That is what makes us a Clan."

The apprentice followed the argument, looking down and scuffling xir paws, but xe looked skeptical still. "Yeah, you have to say that. Otherwise you wouldn't have anything to eat."

Wrenface's ears pricked forward. "Would you rather not feed xem, and not have a medicine cat?"

Adderpaw struggled to answer that. Seeing that xe was still reluctant to be convinced, Doveheart turned around and went deeper into xir den to fetch a solitary leaf. Xe brought it back to the apprentice and dropped it between their paws. "Do you see this, Adderpaw? This is a dandelion leaf," xe explained. "Go into the woods and find some more."

Willing to take a distraction, the ginger tabby crouched down and gave it a good sniff to learn its scent, and then started off on xir own. The little mission's purpose wasn't just to provide more treatments for Wrenface, but also to give the apprentice some time to think to xemself. It would take more than this, certainly, to ebb away a young lifetime's worth of learning the wrong ways, but there was still hope to get a pawhold on the steep cliffside of persuasion.

While xe was away, Doveheart looked to Wrenface for conversation, offering a comment of, "Xe should have learned long ago."

The warrior was silent.

As time passed, the two of them waiting there together, the medicine cat sat down with uneasiness prickling in xir paws and began to wonder if xe'd said something wrong. Wrenface may have taken the remark as a criticism of xir mentor; xe and Lilyfang were close. Or maybe, more generally, xe might not like to hear a medicine cat criticize someone on the other side of the border of roles. Almost everyone in the Clan had some part in Adderpaw's upraising, and xe was in training to become a warrior, being raised mostly by warriors, and it may have seemed to Wrenface that it was not a medicine cat's place, as an outsider, to give any appraisal. Xe could not know for sure, for the warrior never said anything. It was moments like these when Doveheart felt the most alone, one paw in the Clan and the other outside it, even though xe xemself had used the same idea to defend xir actions not long ago. Trapped waiting for the apprentice and unable to abandon xir patient, xe had to stay with quiet company of uncertain esteem, doubting xemself as much as xe questioned how much xe had only imagined the tension. They passed their time in silence and shared no other words until Adderpaw's return.

The ginger tabby came trotting up with a mouthful of leaves and more energy than xe'd shown when xe'd left, though with xir tail down and xir ears pointed away. Xe gave the herbs to Doveheart and then devoted xir attention to Wrenface as the warrior began to stand, asking for a little help on the way to the elders' stump. Though still downcast, Doveheart was pleased to see the way Adderpaw fulfilled the request and stuck by xir side as xe warned xem of roots xe might stumble on and guided xem along the way. The medicine cat did not follow, however. Xe considered this a transference, the warrior leaving xir den and leaving xir responsibility. Xe had given xem everything xe had to ease the process, but would not interfere more unless xe complained of more pain, for xir wounds themselves would have to heal on their own.

At that point, the medicine cat could have used some friendly company or a conversation with someone who wouldn't try xir patience, but xe was feeling too drowsy and emotionally fatigued to head out and seek anyone. It was high time for a nap. After padding back further into the shade of xir den, xe curled up into a furry ball and went to sleep, leading xir spirit into the beginnings of a most peculiar dream.


	11. The Dream

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Wings, beating, rowing through the sky, flapped drops of blood from their feathers as they strained to take the body of a small gray bird far from the massacre beyond. Muscles ached against the gales of a thundercloud brew that whipped up the wind and covered the stars. The sky was pale and grey, and the air was unsafe to traverse, veering hard in unsteady gusts and tossing its passengers about like orphaned leaves. The bird, a dove, was bloody and wounded, though the blood was not its own. The blood was the blood of those below, an open moor of cats who had died in battle, their corpses strewn across the soil, hungry ravens milling among them, perching on their bodies and picking at their tender eyes.

The dove's wound was not a battle wound, as it should have been, but instead was nothing more than a hole in the dove's chest, letting the wind pass clean through it, just as the stormy air passed under soft feathers and scaly legs which were sticky and red. The wound, it seemed, was self-inflicted. Somehow, there was an instinctive sense, a certain sudden knowing, that this breath of life had once been one of the others, inclined toward another form, but then it had stolen away, felt fear of tooth and claw, and made itself into a dove, to flee away far from where it should have died with the others on the battlefield. These things were not supposed to be. It spirit had been torn from its rightful place. Thus it came to be carrying the blood of its brethren, flying from all signs of war toward a forest of metal trees, corroded with orange moss like all things the Twolegs had left behind.

Rather than face the peril of the hawk or the cawing of the ravens or face the death it left behind, the dove gathered up snips and twigs of greenery in its feeble talons, creating for itself a ground nest of herbs to hide in and to wipe away the blood. It immersed itself in the sharp smell of burdock, spiny and dry, and the sensual pungency of catmint, its odor reminiscent of lust and urine. It amassed a smothering collection of soft, mellow chervil and fresh, green leaves of borage, hairy and attached to bright blue flowers, and it drowned its senses in the tang of dock and comfrey and the salty punch of wild garlic and the acidity of sorrel. With the help of the passive plants it brushed the blood from its wings and left the feathers smeared with the clinging remnants of crimson residue. It was committed to blocking out all sight of it with layer upon layer of greenery. It could feel the blood against its very skin, but it turned its attention to the cultivation of its nest instead. Its nest was safe, perfect, home. But there was still a gaping hole in the bird's chest.

Now and then the raging war could still be heard calling, the yowls and battle cries carried on the wind, the caterwauling of an endless hunger, praying to the ancestors for more warriors to fill its graves. The dove remained far away from these things. It wanted nothing to do with harm. It placed itself here, distant, in peace, but there was more to the forest than the cold charity of its plants, forms of life which spoke no deeper comfort, and even with all its medicine, the dove could not heal itself.

Then, among all the many strong smells of roots and flowers and herbs, there came the smell of smoke. There was only a whiff at first, small, the breath of an ember, harmless and hard to sense. As the fire grew, its pale light cast flickers on the horizon, faint but bright at the same time, an impossible color which could be seen through the spaces in the impossible weavings of the dove's green nest. Quickly, the space was sealed over with another broad leaf to block away the light, but the fire was growing, and as it crawled its way through the metal trees, its eminence began to glow through the thin leaves which formed the flimsy bars of the cage. The dove cooed and hid its face with a wing. That shielded its eyes, but it could still hear and smell the fire. Its crackling was soft and gentle, a deceptive sound, suggestive of crumbling leaves in a gentle breeze and the popping of joints in kittenish play. The smell, however, could not lie, for it was the fear-inspiring stench of smoke, hot and black and ashen, whispering to the nose of audacity and passion and pain, billowing from an ever-strengthening blaze. And yet somehow these came from the same source, the sound and the smell, rumbling of a pleasure that hurts, an ecstasy at a cost. The dove was a creature of moderation, not extremes. It wanted to hide, now and forever, against the onslaught of a conflagration, but there was nowhere to go. The sky began to darken with the flood of a dark gray gaseous mix, the dead spirits and cinders of organic things consumed. The air could not be navigated.

The dove hoped to survive by covering and concealing itself with its only beneficiaries, its last resort, the profusion of assorted herbs that had supported its solitary life. They would do little to help, but they were all it had: its place as a creature of the plants and earth. At the same time, though, there was a sense of wrongness, a destiny misplaced, for this cannot continue to be. A dove is not a creature of the earth. A dove is, and will always be, a creature of the sky.

The air was becoming warmer, the smell of smoke overwhelming. Heat emanated throughout the forest and set the trees aglow. The fire was brilliant and awe-inspiring, as orange as the setting sun, with tongues of poppy red and dandelion yellow, forceful and bright, reconciling destruction with energy and lightness and love. The intensity was mounting. The very air felt like the scraping of claws, burning the dove before the fire even reached it. It was agony at first. It hurt. It ached like hate and oblivion, swirling away all sense of reason. Panicking with the desire to escape again, the dove spread its wings but could not fly.

All around it, the cats of StarClan appeared, solemn and unharmed, some of them known and some of them unknown. There was Doveheart's mentor, the old medicine cat, as well as past deputies of KnollClan, past medicine cats of BrookClan and MeadowClan, a past leader of BrookClan, and many other cats older and wiser from a time long ago, while some of them were far too young to be among them or had passed as recent as the last dawn. They stood calm and impassive within the fire, and they were chanting, _eyes without wings, eyes without wings, eyes without wings._

The dove's heart was beating hard in its chest, growing larger and filling the hole as it swelled near to bursting, giving a nervous flutter as its own blood pumped under its skin—not the blood of the others, but its own health and needs and fervor, its very own rivers and tributaries of life. As the temperature of the air shot higher than ever before, the heat changed and began to feel like the soft warmth of a clear sunny day, wrapping around and soaking in like the juices of herbs into a wound. The dove turned its head and tilted it into the brim of its wing, closing its little eyes.

The progressing flames reached its nest, and a few tiny embers floated out and up and brushed against the exterior leaves, singing the outside of the walls. Then the tongues of the flame licked more and more at the barrier of herbs, stroking their tender stems and veins, taking them away with itself. Catching fire, the plants began to burn away. The smoke was everywhere, but the dove did not take flight. The tremors in its heart strengthened at the nearing of the blaze, its body warming, and a strange excitement bubbled up within. The fire was dangerous but meant no harm, it knew in its heart.

The little bird shivered, its cage of wordless herbs demolished and rising off in the new form of cinders and smoke, and now the dove was surrounded by hot, ardent tongues of amber, gold, and rose-red flame. The dove was uncertain, but its pining thirst and joyous worry were beginning to overflow, and it welcomed them. It let the fire sweep in around it and it did not try to fly. The smoke was thick and the fire burned loud, like a momentous purring, shaking in the blood. The dove let the fire touch its feathers, producing a feeling of immeasurable and fulfilling simultaneous sacrifice and happiness, a joining of the march of fate and delicate, vulnerable flesh. This was the only way forward. With wings outstretched, the dove alighted up toward the sky and a flew deeper into the blaze, unresisting, thrusting its sensitive wings into the midst of the flames and allowing the throbbing heat to penetrate to its core. The ravenous fire burned the bird alive, consuming it slowly in a prolonged, impassioned dance of lingering, pulsating rapture, suffocating all protest, melding body with smoke, and culminating in a hot burst of forbidden release. When the last of its meat was scorched off the bone, the spirit within was freed. Not one, but two, were released from the bones, one of the fire itself, and one of the peaceful bird, which, in satisfying its repressed yearning, finally found its rest. At that same moment, the metal trees began to fall, crashing down like thunder, and from the intensifying flames emerged the face of the rogue.

Doveheart woke up panting, xir paws damp with sweat. Xe could still smell and feel the charring smoke in xir lungs. Xir pelt still felt the tongues of the fire. Xir heart still hammered like drumming of a woodpecker. The dream had been vivid and visceral and stuck with xem, some of the details slipping from memory, but the intense feelings hovered with a lingering touch over xir heart. There was nothing xe could think or do to shake the ominous foreboding that hung over xem for the rest of the day. Though xe was deeply shaken, xe did not tell any cat of what xe had seen.


	12. Honey

CHAPTER TWELVE

No one can hunt the same mouse forever, as Brownstripe would say. From the medicine cat's perspective, xir paws were washed of the direction over Adderpaw. That was for Lilyfang to handle now, and since the white warrior was no closer to Doveheart than xir connection as the old littermate of Leechwhisker, xe did not hear much from that end. Anyway, it wasn't Doveheart's place to oversee the discipline of the apprentices or regulate the members of the Clan, and so xe tried to keep xemself neutral to the issue, which to xem meant not checking up on what others were doing or going to see the elders. Xe had already helped Wrenface, xe kept telling xemself. Unless something went wrong, xe would not need to head that way again. So, permitting xemself that avoidance, from that point on Doveheart resumed getting most of xir updates from Leechwhisker, listening to xem talk about the oversight of Emberpaw.

"Xe has this problem where xe challenges others and then can't handle the results. That's what we're dealing with right now. You know how xe is, not showing much forethought before xe speaks. As soon as xe saw Adderpaw yesterday, xe made fun of xem for having to take orders from a medicine cat," the tortoiseshell muttered. Xe was flicking the tip of xir tail, laying on xir side in Doveheart's den. With a shake of xir shadowy head, xe added, "The cat's got no sense."

Doveheart's pelt bristled, for many reasons, not least of which being the idea of anyone—and mere apprentices at that—resenting xir rightful authority and wisdom and the veneration due to a medicine cat, but also because the last thing Adderpaw needed was a reason to start another fight.

"Xe didn't take a swipe at them, thank StarClan," Leechwhisker explained, and mentally Doveheart noted to xemself that StarClan, blessed though they were, probably had nothing to do with it. "I stepped in and gave Emberpaw a talk," the warrior went on. "Adderpaw looked furious, but I get the feeling xe's not eager to get into any more tussles after that brutal showing at the border. Honestly, did you ever find out what got into Whitefang?"

"Whitefur," Doveheart corrected.

"Whatever. It's a terrible thing to have happened, but it's brought some realities to the surface for xem. Every apprentice is eager to learn and use their fighting skills," Leechwhisker generalized, and Doveheart added in xir head that there were plenty of exceptions. "—but now xe's having to learn that those might not be the most important organs in the Clan's survival. Xe even spoke up and said some words in your defense."

Xir gray ears perked up.

"Or might have been more for xir own defense, but counted toward yours as well."

"I'm glad."

"You don't look it."

"Sorry."

Leechwhisker laughed, taking it as a joke, but when Doveheart did not laugh with xem, xe fell quiet and rose to xir paws. "Honestly, Doveheart. I think you're helping. Lilyfang can testify, it's not easy to get through to xem, but something you said made a difference."

The medicine cat remained quiet, for xe believed xir friend, but that wasn't what xe was thinking about.

"Doveheart..." Xe took a step closer to the tabby, who was laying on xir belly with xir paws tucked in and xir tail wrapped around, xir eyes cast down. Gently, the tortoiseshell asked, "Do you want a wash?"

"...Yes."

The warrior lowered xir head toward xirs and licked the small tabby's forehead, from xir eyebrows to between xir ears. Doveheart was surprised by the forcefulness of it and the warmth of the rough, sandy tongue. It felt like a wakeup call, like Leechwhisker was only swatting xir face in a friendly way, to snap xem out of this and get xem into a brighter mood. However, the warrior went on licking. The medicine cat had been so accustomed to not getting what xe wanted, all at once xe was feeling as though xe didn't know what to do, and as the tortie's comforting licks went on, Doveheart puzzled over how much xe deserved this and tentatively began, "Leechwhisker, I—"

The warrior stepped to the side and continued licking down the rest of xir pelt, and finding no words, the medicine cat rolled onto xir side and turned xir head to look at xem, watching as xe got a thorough washing. It was odd, and a little embarrassing, but nonetheless xe felt xemself warming to the attention, beginning to purr, and realizing how much this was what xe needed, Doveheart became even more glad that xir friend had come for a visit. If only Leechwhisker knew what xe meant to xem.

Then xir apprentice Emberpaw appeared at the mouth of the den, dipping xir head in respect to the medicine cat in the stiff deliberate manner of a young one who had been recently reminded to do so, before chirping, "Leechwhisker, can we go do hunting practice now?"

Leechwhisker looked up with a grumpy look and teased with dry disappointment, "Oh, you found me."

"Yep!" Emberpaw's tail was high.

The warrior dragged xemself away from Doveheart and ambled off to teach xir apprentice, but not before turning back to the medicine cat and making a face. "You taste like sorrel."

Doveheart twitched xir whiskers and shot back, "Get out of here, you leaf-whacker." It took everything xe had to keep up a look of good cheer.

As Leechwhisker turned away, the gray tabby turned away xemself, curling up and covered xir muzzle with a paw, closing xir eyes and hiding xir face as xe throbbed with jealousy, an aching absence that yet had a presence of its own. Xe wanted to have someone to call _xem_ away. Xe wanted to be needed like that—sought out by happy bright eyes. A medicine cat was everyone's best friend in the midst of tragedy, wanted when pelts were torn and flesh rent apart, but all other times it seemed like there were few who wanted much to do with xem. Xe shouldn't be complaining—xe was safe and sound and more or less well-fed in a Clan full of warriors to protect xem. Xe had good relationships with xir littermates and some other members of the Clan, and xe wasn't alone.

But if only Frostkit had lived.

* * *

Maybe it was just xir imagination. Wrenface wasn't known to be as good a hunter as Leechwhisker or Lilyfang, but it seemed like the fresh-kill pile looked smaller in the days since the brown tabby's retirement. Or maybe Spiderclaw was eating more. Or maybe both. Doveheart was unwilling to seek xem out to quiz xem on how much prey xe had usually brought in per day to find out. After the thick silence Doveheart had received from Wrenface the day of xir injury and the row with Redfang and Ravenfur, Doveheart had xir reasons to keep away from the elders' stump. Although xe could have gone over for an examination of Wrenface's eyes or inquired about any change of tune from the old warmongering storytellers, xe kept to xir den and insisted that xe was only interested in updates concerning others' health. From what Molenose told xem, it seemed Redfang's cough was getting worse. The look in the warrior's eyes told Doveheart that xe could not put off any longer. Xe needed to check up on xem for xemself.

The scarred elders were watching xem as xe walked up. Wrenface appeared to be away at the time—a quick scan of camp told xem that Spiderclaw wasn't around either. Xe didn't think xe would miss xir presence, but it might've been nice to have a potential intercessor between xemself and the hoary ones. The realization made xem hesitate as xe approached the two of them alone.

"It's about time," grunted Redfang, xir voice hoarse. "I've got a deal for you. Get me some more of those leaves, and I'll claw up the rogue so you can get to heal it again. What do you say?"

"No."

Redfang snorted. "Don't you have a sense of humor, medicine cat?"

"No. No more tansy. You have to be careful not to consume too much."

"Xe doesn't need much. Xe needs more. Simple difference," Ravenfur stated.

Just then, Redfang began one of xir coughing fits. To Doveheart's ear, it was definitely worse. The lungs of the old cat wheezed and heaved dry air through a scratchy throat that needed relief.

Ravenfur flicked xir tail with a shrewd gaze as Doveheart simply watched the pale elder cough. "What's the matter, not inclined to help a cat who's actually in your Clan?"

"What xe needs is honey. We don't have any of that."

"You'd better go and find some then."

Doveheart opened xir mouth to say something about how Yellowstar didn't want xem leaving camp. As far as xe knew, the ban hadn't been lifted—unless the trip to the border was supposed to signal as much. But did that really matter? A medicine cat was loyal only to xemself. For a moment xe thought about telling Adderpaw to go and fetch it for xem, but then xe thought better of it, and not just because Adderpaw's medicinal assignment had been for Wrenface. Xe liked picking xir own herbs and gathering xir supplies xemself. Xe would enjoy the company of the deep forest again, away from the sight of cats who troubled xem. Regardless of the condescension in Ravenfur's tone, it was something that had to be done. "Right away," xe agreed, hesitating with half a sidelong glance as xe turned aside. Then xe snuck out of camp and delved into the woods.

Among a medicine cat's repertoire, some herbs were harder to locate than others, but honey took the tuna for the most difficult to acquire. Fortunately, xe knew of a tree in KnollClan territory that was harboring a beehive. That wasn't the hard part.

With xir sensitive ears, Doveheart could hear the buzzing from far away. This part of the forest was dense and dark, and xe let the sounds lead xem. One had to be careful with bees—they were small, but they were many, and unlike with dogs, climbing a tree never helped. Xe would be in need of a few herbs xemself if xe didn't watch xemself. The tabby approached the small, narrow tree trunk, which had fallen against another oak, and looked up through its hollow insides at the pale layers inside, thrumming with fat insects. The noises made xir skin crawl.

Having done something like this before, Doveheart picked up a small stone in xir mouth and scaled the nearest tree, digging xir claws into the cold bark. It was Blacktail who should be doing this—xe was the better climber. But the gray tabby wasn't about to go back without the thing xe'd come for. The medicine cat positioned xemself on a high branch, readied xemself, and dropped the stone.

Then xe dashed further up the tree as the commotion started, the bees flaring up in a cacophony of cross vibration. A few of them flew out and dispersed but eventually receded; the damage had been minimal and the hive was still intact. Doveheart watched xir step as xe scratched and skidded xir way down and found the stone at the bottom, wet with golden honey. A bit of honeycomb had been dislodged with it.

One of xir ears twisted to the side. Someone was coming. And it smelled like—

"You've got some nerve."

_Rusty._ He was one to talk. She arched her back again as she turned to face him, fluffing up her fur, ears flattened to her skull, and bared her fangs in a hiss.

"Relax. I just wanted to see you again." There was a dead mouse dropped at his ginger paws. "Look, I even brought you something."

"You stole that."

"So?"

"It's not yours to give. You're not doing me any favors by taking from my Clan."

"Oh, come on. The forest belongs to everyone. What do you even owe them anyway?"

There was silence. Just like she said before, her only real allegiance was to herself, but she wasn't going to tell that to the rogue.

"They don't appreciate you there. They don't even see how beautiful you are." He started coming closer, red shoulders rising and falling, and she found herself leaning back and flattening herself down on the ground. Her entire pelt was standing on end.

"Oh, don't even pretend. You like my company. Admit it."

"You're just the sort of cat that Brownstripe talks about."

"Brownstripe?" he spat. "What a boring name. A cat, with brown stripes. Imagine that." He kept coming near her, his green eyes focusing on her small dove-gray form as he leaned forward and purred, "Not like—"

Her claws lashed out and raked his face.

The rogue flattened his ears and jerked back, eyes squelched shut, blood beginning to well up from the cuts in his skin. She couldn't hear his yowl for the volume of her own. The medicine cat still needed to gather what she'd come for, but she remained rooted to the ground.

Finally, she growled, "You're standing in my way."

Rusty was blinking the blood out of his eyes to fix his gaze on her. "You're a challenge. I like that."

She swished her tail.

"I know, beautiful, I know. You've got that honey you need to take back to someone who needs it. Probably someone who doesn't care for you half as much as you care for them. I'm afraid we'll have to part ways this time, but we'll see each other again." As best he could, he winked at her with a queasy smile, and then he walked away.

With the rogue gone, her heart still pounding like a woodpecker, Doveheart collected some of the honey onto a leaf and ran back to camp as fast as her legs would take her.


End file.
